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2,725 Comments
I have been a notorious yo-yo dieter since college. For me it’s all or nothing. After turning 50 I’ve learned it’s more about my health and how I feel than how I look.
I can’t think of anything fun I’ve done in the last few years. I just finished a Masters degree so I think I’ll actually go to a movie that’s still in theaters!
I love that you’ve learned it’s about how you’re feeling rather than how you look – that’s a huge step! When you stop doing things in order to lose weight, and start doing things to feel good, your life and outlook completely changes. I hope you had a wonderful time at the movies – I still think going to the movie theatre is such a treat!
(LMWL Mentor) Lisa that’s sounds like such a fun activity to get started with. It can be so liberating taking that first step.
Sarah! I think you are my long lost soul sister! Racheal Cook recommended checking you out a couple years ago because we teach similar themes (weight, cravings, self care). But I have not attempted to discuss body acceptance with much detail because this area is the main area of my personal issues. Since I was young, I have thought my body was “fat”. Looking at photos one would not think that. I was an athlete and played in college, but was always hypercritical of my body. I had a grandmother who always asked about my weight and my eating habits and was always criticizing them. In my mid 20’s I began to put on weight. I had about 2 years of extreme veganism in the late 90’s that left me quite malnourished (I basically ate 1 bagel a day and pasta for dinner). Toward the end of those 2 years, I suffered a severe ankle injury while playing soccer (I played inter murals in grad school) and found out my parents were divorcing after 30 years of marriage. Hello emotional overeating spiral! I left the vegan diet and began eating and eating anything I could get my hands on. With the inactivity from my injury and my downward spiral emotionally, I gained close to 30 pounds in 1 month. As the months followed, I kept putting on weight. Not once really stopping to notice the severe cycle of emotional eating I was in.
As the late 20’s neared, I was close to 220 lbs (at 5’5″). And the self loathing increased. For close to 12 years I was in a body that felt foreign. But what I saw in the mirror was a very sad person. I played the stories you describe in the video (if I can just lose 20 pounds, then…. or if I ______ then my life will be wonderful or my fav why can’t I control myself? I just really suck) Even though in this timeframe, I got married, had 2 kids, built a beautiful business and had friends and family that loved me; I never loved myself.
After the birth of my 2nd son 8 years ago, I joined WeightWatchers. For 5 years I slowly lost weight and eventually reached my “goal weight” (don’t get me started on that bullshit!). But here is the thing, the program does not once talk about self acceptance. Reaching my goal weight did not make me automatically start loving and accepting myself. And maintaining weight is a totally different head game. At 220, 5 pounds wasn’t too noticeable. But at my current weight, 5 pounds can cause me to go up a size a pants. If I don’t love and accept myself, then a small gain begins a cycle of loathing, self deprecating and unnecessary thoughts.
I have never shared this and it is scary to click submit. Here it is; the number is BS! This entire “weight” industry is a game. About 3 years ago (I was getting close to my goal weight), I realized that I was not getting any happier. In fact, the compulsive overeating was turning into a calorie restrictive obsessive diet. When I had that moment of clarity I knew I needed to change my focus. I began to focus on self-care. I dove into my yoga practice and self-exploration. And finally last year, I made the commitment to ask myself throughout the day ” was it loving myself or harming myself” Were the thoughts loving or harming? Was the food loving or harming? Was the manner in which I speak to my kids and hubby loving or harming? I have had 41 years of self-loathing and need to be patient for these new skills to kick in. But I am dedicated to the practice of loving myself. Someday it will exude from my being without hesitation. Until then, I practice, teach, parent, work, play and have the most kick-ass daily self-care. Loving myself and accepting my body will happen and I am dedicated to the process. Because the internal hell I lived in for 41 years is not what I want the next 41 to be.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and creating this much needed discussion! I can’t wait to see what the other videos inspire within me and the other ladies.
Oh, FUN is a part of my daily self-care because I am way too serious most of the time. Today I read and practiced yoga. And now as I click “submit”, my hubby and I are going to watch some Netflix.
Jen, I relate to you on so many levels. I think its so awesome that you have gotten into the habit of asking if what you are doing is loving or harming…such a simple yet extremely powerful practice. It really seems like you have gotten to a beautiful point in your life. Major kudos to you 🙂
Hi Jen! Thank you for pushing submit!! You are right is all about self love and self acceptance, I found the same for me happened losing weight and realized wow there are things I need to deals with that I was hiding behind the weight that I got to with lmwl. I can completely relate to still building a life that I wanted filled with so much love and couldn’t love myself. Giving myself permission to having fun as part of my daily life was so liberating, Today for fun I do burst of little playful things like turned on some music in the house with my kids and just danced away for a few minutes, sat and read for 20 minutes while having a tea sitting in some sun light with my feet up (Its still winter where I am) and also called up my sister and had a fun conversation about our vision boards,etc… How do you give yourself permission to not always feel like you have to be so serious? What would happen if you weren’t so serious? Also. I swear by the daily subtle rituals that I do for myself, dry brushing and in the shower rubbing coconut oil all over and really thanking and saying out loud I love you to ever part of my body has made it that slowly every day I do I accept my body, stretch marks and all 😉 I would love to hear what your most kick-ass daily self-care rituals are and how you what it was like for you to eat without distractions, how did you feel :)))
Nicole, dry brushing and oiling my body have been 2 huge game changers! I need to feel and love my body while I am rubbing oil all over the place. I scrape my tongue, neti pot, nasya (oil my nose), drink hot lemon water, meditate, yoga, breath (pranayama), fun activity (like dance, yoga, walk), nourish my body with wholesome foods, take my herbs and supplements, yoga nidra.
I do a lot for daily self-care, but last year I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition. Now that brought my self-loathing front and center. With the diagnosis, I was obsessed with the idea that my decades of self-loathing triggered my body’s attack on itself.
So my days are centered around self-care, rest and determination to show loving kindness (even when I want to really hate on myself).
Thanks for reading and sharing! I LOVE reading everyone’s journey!
Blessings!
I am very unhappy with my body – I weigh the most I have ever weighed (at 64 years old). I am going to look for a new knitting pattern to work on and do a sample swatch.
(LMWL mentor) Carol that’s sounds like the perfect place to start. I promise is you stick with Sarah and do the little steps she gives you in each video you will be headed into the most beautiful relationship with your body.
Good for you for doing something that is fun! It doesn’t matter how old you are, you deserve to feel happy, beautiful, and fulfilled. What other things would you like to do for fun?
My #1 struggle with my body is feeling like a failure over and over again. Which has only reinforced the negative messages I received at a young age telling me how fat I was and when I did lose lbs it wasn’t good enough, or that I would just gain it back. For fun today I’m going to go play some ping pong with my daughter and color, I love to color! I’m SO glad I came across your information!
Hi Kim! I can really relate to you about feeling like a failure over and over again. What has worked for me in the past to help me get out of that mindset was to find one little thing each day that I could be proud of myself for. Soon, I had so many things to be proud of, the feeling of failure was driven out of my mindset naturally. Hope you have fun with your daughter and coloring. I agree – coloring is peaceful! 🙂
I love colouring too!!!! I second the one thing to be proud of everyday. Ask yourself too, if your daughter felt like a failure over and over again, how would you console her? How can you feel that compassion for your daughter for yourself the same way. If it helps try to visualize yourself as a little girl. Let us know, we are so here for you!!! I am so glad you shared.
How did you feel to eat without distractions?
Hi Sarah
I have always struggled with my tummy. It always has rolls n fat on it. It has never really been flat unless I loose lots of weight. Today I am going to eat dinner with out distractions with my parents. I will also be having fun with my mum after work as it’s my last fitting for my wedding dress. I’m going catch up with her after for a coffee. This should be really fun as we hardly ever do this. Thank you for these videos they are great. Especially how u go into detail. 🙂
Hi Aleesha! That sounds like a really awesome day. I hope you had a wonderful wedding dress fitting, that you’re getting excited about your wedding, and that you had a beautiful time with your mom. It’s amazing when we do things that feel really good, our entire mindset starts to shift.
Sarah, your article on Hella Wella about emotional eating led me to you. Those could have been my words, really kind of spooky, the similarities in our dieting history. I started the challenge this week but couldn’t wait until Thursday to watch the first video! I don’t know yet what I’m going to do for fun, I need to really give this some thought. I will let you know in a couple of days and also give you an update on eating without distractions. Thank you so much, I’m so glad I found you!
Please update us! Something I found helpful was to make a list of fun things and keep it taped to something that I would see every day and often to reference. We are ALL glad that you found us.
I am so excited to read all of these wonderful comments! So much to say overall but right now I just want to share that a huge shift for me was when I began to realize that I ALWAYS ate with distractions. If you find this is you – don’t worry. It is totally something that will adjust once you are aware of it and making an effort to put aside the distractions to focus on the taste of the food you are eating. Such a huge difference! :). xoxo
1. My body- I have been very unkind to her for many years. I have thought she was fat and ugly since my earliest stored memories. I have judged her, restricted her, deprived her and filled her with junk BEYOND discomfort. A few months ago, I took steps (for the first time) to engage in a loving relationship with my body. I did a lot of work on acceptance (of body and relationship to food). However, your words in this video about not only loving my body appearance but also treating her lovingly struck a chord. In the process of not trying to control my body through food rigidity, I think I forgot to balance it out with feeding her things that actually feel good in her. Denying her does not feel loving…and neither does force feeding! So thank you for your much needed message. I may have heard it before, but today it resonated in a deeper way.
2. Fun- after work I played with a hula hoop and did some arts and crafts. My inner child is smiling.
3. Undistracted eating- tonight (for the first time in a long time), I ate dinner at the table. No tv, no computer. Just me and my food. And it was DELICIOUS.
(LMWL Mentor)Jessica that’s sounds like the end to a perfect day and I love hearing about your new appreciation for your body and treating her with lovingly care.
Isn’t it crazy how much better our food tasts when we’re more mindful about what we are eating?
I never had body issues or even an awareness of my body until after having my son and going through some traumatic experiences. I always joke this is still “Baby Fat”, even though he’s 23! All the stresses of being a single mom his whole life, financial problems, jobs I hated, not dating etc, lead to emotional and distracted eating, and huge weight gains. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with food for 20 some years. Over the years, I tried every diet, miracle pill, and grueling workout known to man, only to keep losing and gaining the same 15 to 20 pounds. I keep thinking, once i lose the weight, men will start being interested in me for more than my outgoing personality and sense of humor (which is my defense mechanism!).
As I was was watching the video, I thought, FINALLY, someone understands! I have lost weight in the last several months and feel better, but I think this will give me the extra boost I need! My fun today was receiving phone calls from my sister and a coworker, and laughing til my stomach and face hurt! This is almost daily, as I love to laugh, so other fun I’ll incorporate will be a mani/pedi, daily walks,and working out to Zumba videos,
These are great ideas for fun Tracey. Like we say around here, it’s time to stop waiting on the weight. Life the live you want to live today. We are glad that you found LMWL.
(LMWL Mentor) I seriously love it when I laugh so hard my belly and face hurt. I think I’m stealing some of your fun ideas for this coming week.
Laughing so hard my belly hurts is my favourite ever!!!! I felt the same was watching Sarah… She totally understands and there are so many incredible women just like you right here for you. Just know that you never have to diet again here, How did it feel to eat without distractions?
I am 55 years old and have NEVER “loved” my body because I have never felt pretty enough this enough, petite enough, tall enough…the time is now! I’m not getting any younger…we should all strive to accept ourselves as we are and just be the best “self” we can be!
Hi Laurie! Woo hoo! You go sister! I agree 100%.
Enough is enough eh!!!! like really who is that person I am not good enough for?? When I really got to the core of this was so liberating. What did you do for fun today?
My current relationship with my body is not where I would like it to be. I have been very hard on myself the last couple weeks so for what I have been eating and for being too busy to make it to the gym as much as I would like. But, I am in a place now where I really want to make a positive change and ditch all my old diet habits, counting calories and fears of gaining weight. I want to be able to feel comfortable in my own skin and to stop obsessing over trying to fit back into my size 4 jeans.
I really realized I do not even know what I like to do for fun. Im only 21, but since the age of 16 I have been obsessed with losing weight and working out to get skinny. I have lost sight of myself and trying to do things that I actually enjoy.
For fun today I began listening to some old music that brings back positive memories and puts me in a good mood.
I will try the no distracting eating tomorrow and see how it goes.
Thanks Sarah I am really glad I came across your site 🙂
I am so glad you found Sarah’s site too! If losing weight wasn’t on your mind what would be the first thing you would want to do for fun? Have you signed up for the live more weigh less lifestyle challenge? Stick around and watch the next videos. :))
Sarah, I wasn’t even planning on leaving a comment. Your video was so motivational and inspiring. Thank you.
We’re glad you did (leave a comment), Kathleen (: and that you enjoyed the video. Do you feel like sharing what you’d like to do for fun this week? xx
I never struggled with my weight until my college days. I was very active in high school and when I graduated, so did a lot of my activity. Right now I’m embarrassed about my fat rolls and my round face. Over the past five years, I’ve gained about 50 + lbs. I think people look at me and say look at that fat girl. As far as fun today, it is already the evening, so I’m going to watch one of my favorite tv shows, The Voice.
Hi Nancy, I hope you enjoy your show and for bonus points, I’d love for you to plan a fun activity for tomorrow that will leave you feeling energized. Maybe it’s a walk after work or during your lunch break, or calling up a girlfriend to catch up, but I want you to make fun a priority each day moving forward.
You are still that beautiful girl inside as when you were 16 just need to find her again.
I would like to have a normal bmi. Overall, I love my body but I am looking for more fitness and a little less fat. I will have a mini shrink session for fun
I love Erin’s Shrink Session program. Have fun with it Elizabeth!
SO basically I am obsessed with you Sarah, not in a creepy way, but in a I totally “get” what you are doing because I have lived it and never put words to it!
I would LOVE to partner with you in some way, make a guest post whatever.
I lost weight, but I am happy because I lost fear and negativity inside me that was holding me back.
I recently wrote a post of bullying about my weight and how I turned things around. If you’re interested it’s here: http://ny-foodgasm.blogspot.com/2015/03/then-now-from-bullied-to-beautiful.html
Thank you for sharing Sophia.
Please feel free to email us at [email protected] as well so we can take a closer look.
I’m so glad you’re here and that this is feeling aligned for you.
So glad I found you.
We’re glad you’re here, Derevaune. xx
I was in a motorcycle accident at the age of 19 back in 1990. I suffered some very bad injuries which left me severely scarred on my legs and body; I also miscarried my baby. At the time I was very fit & active but within 2 years I weighed nearly 25 stone and just hated my body and my scars. I’ve tried every ‘diet’ going and lose weight fairly easily but as soon as I stop dieting I start comfort eating again. It sounds a bit crazy but being big feels like a security blanket and when I lose weight I feel insecure and vulnerable! I am on holiday in Iceland with my son at the moment before he joins the army next month so for fun tomorrow we are going whale watching. I’m also looking forward to buying myself some flowers for the hotel room! Thanks for the video; you’re an inspiration!
Whale watching sounds amazing!!! I have totally been there using weight as a shield to hide myself and a way of self sabotage to reinforce the messages of not loving myself enough. You are in the right place. 🙂 Let me know how you feel eating without distractions
This is my second LMWL. Last year, I was a “half-participant.” And I was able to take away a lot of from the experience. This year I come to this community and to this space with the knowledge that the more I put into it the more I will get out it.
I have always struggled in my relationship with my body. Sadly, more unkind thoughts than gratitude has been expressed to something that does so much for me. Though in the past year, after I started volunteering at a hospital, I have started to appreciate my health in a way I never did before. My hope is to enter this LMWL group and honor myself, my health, and my life.
Look forward to some fun times! 🙂
Michele
You are doing it!! What did you do for fun today?
My biggest struggle with my body is NO ENERGY. I’m too good at making excuses and pushing those underlying reasons as to “WHY” under the rug.
Fun? You were correct…it’s hard to look back and remember the last time I had fun. As a working wife and mother of two young boys, it’s hard. I Admit that I don’t enjoy being a “soccer mom”, but I do it anyway or send my husband alone which then I end up feeling guilty. Tonight…I’m going to try PLAYING soccer in the back yard with me boys.
For the first time in actually confident that im going to do this. Thank you so much for Day 1…and all the days to follow.
Hi Jessica 🙂 I hear ya! kids wip me out and feeling guilty is such a cycle that only leads to feeling less energy. I try to have little burst of fun playful moments through out the day with my kids, like a little dance party! or a tickle fight! What are ways you could have fun at work on your lunch break? could you go get a manicure or pedicure, get outside, meet a girlfriend for lunch. Giving myself permission to make time for fun was a big struggle for me, the live more weigh less lifestyle challenge is an incredible way to make those subtle changes that will make lasting effects.
I’m in! I loved this video & must say that it really spoke to me.
1) My current body relationship has improved but still needs work. At my heaviest I was 20olbs. Being short, the weight gain was really noticeable and a confidence killer. It had been creeping up over the years but my weight shot up once I took a desk job. I went from being active and on my feet all day to sitting for 8+ hours a day. I knew that I was gaining weight but managed to stay in denial about it until I saw a picture of myself from the holidays. I tried many fad diets & diet pills but barely made any progress. My personal life was also in a crisis & my weight gain was an easy excuse to blame all my problems on. I kept telling myself that once I lost all the weight my life would vastly improve. Eventually I found balance & started to make progress but my confidence was still shaky. I wore baggy clothes & did my best not to be noticed. I hated pictures & avoided social situations as much as possible. I became very angry & bitter. It seemed all my friends had more successful lives while I struggled day to day. Looking back, I think I used my weight as a crutch & scapegoat, “If only I weren’t so fat I could have the life of my dreams,” I told myself. Yet it wasn’t the weight that was holding me back. I have so far lost almost 60lbs but admit I am still adjusting. I was shocked when a size 14 was too big for me but don’t feel I am there yet. I started reading your blog & have been slowly making adjustments. I dumped all my frumpy clothes & have been slowly buying a new wardrobe. I treated myself to the salon & bought makeup for the 1st time in six years. So progress…but I still find myself falling into old negative thoughts & patterns. My progress has recently plateaued & think it’s because I have been in denial about some major life changes I need to make. So instead I’ve turned to food & slacked off my daily walk. I can tell when I am feeling low because that’s when I reach for the “safe” outfits instead of something fun or sexy. Acceptance of my body has always been difficult for me. I was told repeatedly growing up that I was plain, unattractive & too short and dumpy. I’ve spent most of my life trying to avoid being noticed because I was embarrassed of who I was & what I lacked compared to other people. I wish I could say I am “cured” of these negative thoughts but still struggle day to day.
2) For my fun activity I decided to collage a dream board in my journal while listening to a meditation.
Im so glad you are here!! So happy that you did that for yourself 🙂 I don’t think there will ever be a cure either!! However I have learnt so many tools in this program that have help me shift my thoughts and be compassionate with myself and learn to talk to myself which I never knew how. How did you feel eating without distractions? I love your fun activity too, I feel so artistic and creative when I am vision boarding my dreams 🙂
Wow. This video really resonated with me, and I feel like this challenge has come into my life at the perfect time. Ever since I was a toddler I have been told that I needed to lose weight. First it started with my doctor, and then my parents, my peers, society, and then myself. What this has led to is the constant feeling that I am never enough, and I will never be enough until I am thin. I feel really ashamed by my body, and as a result I have turned to food as a means of comfort. I have put a lot of things on hold because I feel like I am just too fat right now, and I can enjoy them once I am thin. The vicious cycle goes on and on. Through a lot of intense work with both health coaches, counselors & life coaches, I have come to see that the underlying problem is my own inner happiness and my undernourished soul, not the shell of a body that I reside in. I am so, SO happy that I am participating in this challenge, and I am really looking forward to “meeting” other beautiful women who are following the same journey. Today I am going to treat myself to a little soulful retail therapy and purchase a few new organic skincare products that I have been dying to try for ages. Oh, and possibly some red lipstick 😉
Hannah 🙂 YEs!! I love how things always happen in perfect timing 🙂 thank you for sharing with us, So glad that you are here! Did you eat without distractions? How did it feel?
Sarah! Thank you so much! It is beautiful how making small things like eating without distractions changes your day completely and makes it AMAZING! 😀
Its incredible how this subtle yet life changing habit feels 🙂
Fun: I do not even know how to have fun anymore! I have been hyperfocused on making my job into a career.
Food: I have noticed that every restaurant in my town has tv’s in my face as a trying to eat and take a break. Today I went home for lunch and actually enjoyed the food. I have been writing notes to the owners telling them that I do not like being forced to have the tv on during a meal that I am paying good money for. It is my latest pet peeve.
Kyra, you have an amazing opportunity to play and discover fun again! When I first entered LMWL, I had no idea what I liked doing for fun. It’s so easy to think that, because our dream careers are “supposed to be” our passion, our careers equal our fun. Think back to when you were a child– what did you love to do? Try something and see if you still enjoy it. It’s okay if it doesn’t wind up working for you, just try something else. Let us know how it goes so we can cheer you on!
PS: Way to fight the rise of TVs in restaurants!
I’m sitting here trying to figure out what fun is to me.That’s a hard one. I like playing with my dog but I feel right now I’d have to force myself. I’m enjoying working on a watercolour painting.so will do that shortly, maybe I will fell better after that. But am really feeling isolated today and alone. It’s a 20 minute drive to town and I barely know anyone anyways.
Hey Sue! Painting is a great way to have fun! I find that anything creative really brightens my light and allows me to shine. If you are feeling lonely, is there anyone you could call and have a phone (or video) chat with? Do you have any neighbors (or paths with walkers) by your house? If this is something you feel often, we should come up with future ways to remedy it. Keep us posted!
Hi Sarah, really enjoyed watching the first video. Btw u have gorgeous hair!! I can def relate to putting everything off till I’m smaller, dont want to go.out, dont want to buy clothes until iv.lost weight etc. dony think theres a.particular part of my body I have a problem with, its the whole thing! Im only 5’1″ so I cant get away with alot. Do I started the challenge today and already feeling liberated just because I wore redlippy 🙂 for fun…… as its late now i’ll do it tomorrow, im goin to spend some time on with my little girl on her trampoline after school! Xox
Mandy, isn’t it such a crazy cycle? Would you be open to making a list of the things you tend to put off or don’t want to do until you have lost weight, and choose one to do this week?
I love that you felt the immediate effects of the red lip! (: & your other plan for fun is great, too. I myself like to recall what it was that brought the most fun for me when I was a kid and recreate it xx
Okay, lets do this!
My number one struggle with my body has always been my weight (shocker): taking up too much space, being weak, feeling like I’m wasting my time because it cannot do the things I want it to do.
Also, I’m just plain tired. So much stuff going on, so many balls in the air. And it shows. I was taking the lipstick photo for the LMWL challenge, and all I could think of is that I look exhausted. Need to make some changes.
Fun thing for today….. I am *not* going to work after the kid’s bedtime for once, and I’m going to challenge my husband to a board game
Lu,
Glad you’re in! I think being in this space with other women who are here to share what we’re going through and encourage each other will be great for you.
P.S. How did the board game go – what did you guys play?
Hi Sarah
I never though to just make piece with myself, its hard these days to be bigger then a certain size. I have always had trouble accepting myself as I am since I was around 8 years old when my mother noticed I was starting to “put on weight” her words. I went through having eating disorders and all that kind of stuff as a result of being told I wasn’t normal and that I should be smaller and all the women in my family being weight obsessed and always dieting..it was like the main topic. I am also sort of a perfectionist and I think it makes my thoughts about myself worse.
For fun I am going to my art class tonight, I go every Monday night. I wish it was more often because I always feel better after painting and visiting with the women that are there.
Victoria,
This is a tough burden to bear. I can attest to the perfectionism just making things worse! Thank you for sharing, and I love love that you go to a weekly art class and that it’s an outlet for fun/creativity && being social! Have you thought about joining a second art or other class? That reminds me, I am going to sign up for a modern calligraphy class at a local paper boutique!
xx
Hi Victoria, how can you bring more art into your life outside of class? If there isn’t class every night, can you set up a space in your home to dedicate to creating art? Have you considered inviting the ladies from class out to dinner so you can still keep that connection happening outside of class?
Brief overview of my journey-
I have ALWAYS been told I was chubby. My mom was super skinny and even when I was little, she told me I was too big to even wear jeans-I had to wear elastic waist pants. Looking back now, I thought this also meant I was ugly, so I think I subconsciously did things that made me look bad/like a boy (short hair, baggy pants and clothes, etc).
I remember my mom getting me weight watchers books from her friend, but would only buy them if I “really committed” to following it. I also remember doing tae-bo work outs every night. Looking back at photos, though, I was actually a very normal sized teenager. I just really thought I was huge.
When I went to college, my sophomore year I learned that I LOVED to run. I ran all the time and lost a bunch of weight. It felt so good and I felt SO beautiful. That was when I was at my lowest adult weight.
I met my would be husband and gained a little weight back once we moved in together, but then lost it again after I pretty much tortured myself in the gym. I would run 7 miles a day (on the elliptical, not in the forest, so it was awful) just trying to get back down to my “ideal” weight.
Slowly I gained it all back before my wedding. A lot of family issues came back up during that time, and now I am at my heaviest adult weight. I am not trying to make my husband look like a bad guy, but he said that he really wanted me to lose weight. This obviously made me feel so awful, but after more conversations, I realize that he wasn’t trying to be mean, he just knew that I haven’t been taking care of myself.
Anywho, so to the actual questions:
1) My #1 struggle with my weight is that it makes me feel unworthy of the things I want. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve to have fun, to have hobbies, to have friends, to have hot sex, etc. But even when I was at my lowest weight, I still felt unworthy.
2) Today I am going to have fun by working on some furniture refinishing, which is one of my favorite hobbies 🙂
3) I don’t have a very good dining area in my house, but I am going to make sure the island is cleared off so I actually have somewhere to sit and enjoy breakfast and dinner. Since I’m at work for lunch, I am going to make an effort to not eat at my desk, but will eat at our table and if it’s nice enough, I am going to try and eat on the patio. 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I have been in the same situation where my boyfriend wanted me to lose weight. Your intuition was right– this has nothing to do with your weight and everything to do with taking care of yourself. Our partners often think of our bodies in the same way that we do. “If she lost weight, then she’d…want to do more fun things, be more adventurous in the bedroom, dress up more, {fill in the blank}.” He’s not asking you to lose weight, what is he really asking for? (Then, moving forward even if you don’t feel “worthy” yet.)
I am so proud of you for recognizing that you needed to create a quiet designated space for dinning. You are taking the right steps! (I really enjoy upholstery, so furniture refinishing sounds fun to me too.) Keep us posted on how everything is going! We are excited you are here!
Hi Larae,
You can’t expect anyone to treat you better than how you treat yourself. As you start to take care of yourself, it’s going to have a huge impact on your relationship with your husband and I want you to stop waiting on the weight. You mentioned that you loved running. How can you start to bring that passion back in your life? If running isn’t your thing anymore, what other form of movement gets you excited? Is it zumba, spinning, long walks through your neighborhood…the list goes on, but I want you to find something that really makes you happy and commit to doing it for a week and to see how you feel after that week.
Josiane, I did the program last year and LOVED it. I also have to stop and drop everything else when Sarah sends us an email or launches videos. What will you be doing for fun today? I just took a long walk and it was exactly what I needed on this Monday.
Hi- I have struggled with my weight since I was about eight years old. I remember looking down at my thigh one day and thinking “oh my god I’m huge! My jeans are so tight, I can never were jeans again” and I didn’t until high school. I was always the fat kid in class and was teased by different people. That said, I had a lot of good friends and loved school and having fun. I was always outgoing, but in middle school and high school I forced myself to be shy so I didn’t expose myself. I think starting back then and continuing until today I have pretended to the outside world that the teasing and bullying didn’t hurt me. I didn’t want anyone to think I was weak, so I just shrugged it off. But the truth is it hurt deeply. I have always thought that I am just one step away from having it all. My thinking goes like this: I am strong, smart, beautiful (at least my face), pretty successful, and happy. So if I can just get thin then I’ll have it all. Being fat felt like a failure. But it’s been years of dieting, exercise and self-loathing. It’s been my deep secret for years: I hate my body. Intellectually, I can tell myself that I don’t and that I am grateful for it, but emotionally I hate it. I don’t want that anymore.
Five years ago, I lost 65 pounds. Then I got pregnant. I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to continue losing weight, but accepted that I would be able to after the baby came. Then my marriage fell apart and after a divorce I ate my feelings for three years. So, now, after a lot of soul searching and changing already, I’m back to my pre-big loss weight and ready to do something different. I do not want to go back to dieting and crazy exercise. I’ve been trying that for the last year and a half and have nothing to show for it. I want to start living and not obsessing about what I am going to eat, what I did eat, and guilt tripping myself for not exercising. I am starting to see a light that says this is who I am, who I was meant to be – that my body is great no matter what it looks like or weighs. I am tired of trying to be someone I’m not.
I ate lunch today without distraction – I went outside and sat in the sun. For fun tonight I plan on focusing on my daughter and playing ball outside for as long as she wants! I also did the LMWL challenge and wore red lipstick today.
One question I have is about medical health. What if we’re happy and have found our “ideal” body for ourselves, but it goes against the medical terms for a healthy body? There is so many numbers out there that stress me out (bmi, waist circumference, pounds, blood pressure). How does this program address this?
Thank you so much! I am looking forward to the other videos and connecting to other women. I admit that this last part makes me nervous – I’ve avoided discussing this subject with other women because it made me feel like I was admitting to a failure. Wow – so much sharing already!! 🙂
Hey Brittany! I want to applaud you for everything you have been through and staying so strong. It sounds like you know where you want to be heading (towards a better relationship with your body and a fuller life), and are taking the right steps to get there. Your day today sounded so fun. I want to play ball in red lipstick! I bet you are going to love every day of the LMWL challenge.
I am sure Sarah could expand on this, but your weight is only between you and your doctor (not every “medical expert” out there). In fact, my doctor is the only person who knows what I weigh, because I sure don’t know. If your doctor was overly concerned, s/he would let you know. Most doctors don’t look at one measure or number, but an overall assessment on how you are taking care of yourself. My doctor has always been more concerned about eating healthy, leading an active lifestyle, and current health than my BMI, body fat %, or waist circumference.
We are so excited to connect with you too! This is a wonderful community of women who I find always understand me and hold me up to be my best self.
Hi Brittany,
How did you feel wearing your red lipstick? For a lot of us, it gives us a little extra pep in our step, gets us standing taller, smiling more and this is a feeling I want you to have all of the time. Think about how you can continue bringing more fun into your life and you’ll start worrying less about the number on the scale.
In terms of addressing the medical issues. I believe in being healthy. In having good blood pressure, good vitamin levels, lots of energy etc. but I believe people can have that at different weights. The medical system uses weight as an overall measure, but I think it’s good to be a detective and really see what’s going on INSIDE. Although I believe we can accept ourself at any weight, that doesn’t mean we should treat our bodies poorly by eating low quality food and never moving our bodies. Although I don’t believe in diets to look a certain way, I do believe in taking care of yourself to FEEL a certain way. See the difference?