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2,725 Comments
1. Number 1 is self confidence. I”ve been working on it for years and have actually made some progress, but it’s always a challenge.
2. For fun today I went out to lunch with my coworkers and actually took our 1 hour lunch break away from my cube.
Awesome Stephanie. I bet when you went back to work, your day went by a lot faster and was more enjoyable.
I struggle with feeling so uncomfortable….my boobs and belly are so big…I can’t even hide them in large clothes…I feel like a failure…like I am lazy, and I am not!!! I can’t move like I used too…my body is now getting in the way of my life!! Fun? So sad but I dont know what is fun anymore? Actually playing with my 2 yr old grand daughter and flirting with my 3 month old grand son is super fun..that’s the way I forget about the discomfort and enjoy the moment…
It’s my 48 th birthday today and I want to live the next 48 years more mindful!! Thank you for this!!
Today?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KERRI!!! (My sister’s name is Kerri, and I think you might be the first person I’ve seen who uses the same spelling!) Love your vision for the future! When is the next time you will see your grand kids? And, did you do anything for fun today?!
Happy Birthday Kerri!
I’m giving you homework. Start making a list of all of the things that sound like fun to you so you can reference it when you’re starting to feel down. Over time, that list is going to get longer and longer and eventually fun will become natural and you won’t even need the list. It all starts with one small step today.
1) My current body relationship is a love/hate and transitional. I have lost almost 50lbs. over the past four years and recently hit a stand still. It seems I have plateaued at the same weight for about a year. I loose a few pounds but then it spikes back up again…I grow frustrated and start slacking off on my “fat days”. When I was at my heaviest I rarely went out & avoided social situations because I felt embarrassed. For the longest time I thought it was because of my weight but I recently realized it’s was because of other areas of my life I didn’t feel good enough. .
Most of my friends are college graduates, I’m not. I have started/stopped going to college depending on my financial situation. At that time I worked in a fast food restaurant while my friends were teachers, professors, lawyers and so on. I have hobbies and interests but couldn’t afford the classes or training I wanted to try out. They were discussing buying houses, taking exotic vacations and going to luxury spas while I was trying to figure out how to make $20 stretch until next payday. Don’t get me wrong, the people that I hung out didn’t point these things out to me but I felt lacking and admittedly envious of them. I felt like the odd man out & secretly wondered if they were laughing behind my back. I think I blamed being overweight on all my problems. “If I could only loose X pounds I’ll finally do all the things I really want to..”.Now I am in a much better place in life but still battle with feeling like a loser. I don’t feel I am “there” yet.
2)Today I am going to paint
Kat, I had to comment because I can totally relate! I, too, began and quit college multiple times and have felt “behind” my peers a lot of the time since then. It’s definitely the comparison trap! I think it’s actually a great mirror of blaming our problems on our weight. For example, I know I’ve also said, “As soon as I get a good job, or have enough money to travel, or have the means to do what my friends are doing, etc….THEN I will fill-in-the-blank.” If we allow it, we could always be waiting on *something*!
Everyone’s journey is different, and there’s beauty in that. Over the last few years of MY journey, I’ve come to both accept & appreciate what I’ve been through, where I am and how I got here, and that it’s totally okay to do be in a different place than someone else. I’ve also enacted TONS of self-care (thank you Sarah & LMWL) and compassion for myself.
That being said, we’re all in this together! Thank you for sharing some of your story, and do let us know how the painting went! (I like to paint for fun, too!) xx
Hello Kat!Just wanted to say that I related to this too! I did graduate college, but afterwards I didn’t work because of mental health issues while all my friends got awesome careers that they loved (and that paid well).I always thought my friends were calling me pathetic behind my back, and I dreaded meeting new people because I was embarrassed that I would get the “What do you do?” question. I rarely spoke about my dreams, because I worried nobody would take me seriously because they knew I could never afford it. I played small for so long and, like so many of us, blamed my weight for my insecurity.Remember: This is just one stage of your journey, not the entire trip!
You should be proud of the progress you have made to get to a better place! We are here to support you!
Hello beautiful women joining this journey! Isn’t this amazing! Sarah the video is great! I am an alumni of this amazing group of women! I have learned so much these past two years. I want to encourage all of you to look at the stories of those of us who have started where you are and what we have to say about the journey. I remember reading all the ‘success’ stories when I first started and thinking “yeah that is easy for her to say’ or ‘if only that could be me’. Well it isn’t easy for me to say…and now it is me! So hang in there. Do the steps you are encouraged to do. But most of all – have FUN with all of it! I’m so excited to be here…can you tell? ~Jill~
Haha! I totally thought “yeah, that is easy for her to say…’ before joining LMWL too!
PS: Excitement and enthusiasm is one of the things I love best about the women in this community!
Thank you ladies! We really do have the best community of women here all dedicated to truly living more. xo
Thank you for this wonderful message. Today I will hang this beautiful picture I received from ikea. I’m always looking at beautiful west elm pictures and thinking that I’ll never afford this. I will start buy loving what I already have and keeping a clean home by appreciating what I already have I stead of waiting until a ton of money drops into my lap. I will definitely eat in silence. Can’t wait.
I love this Khaliah (beautiful name/spelling!) You’ve encouraged me to do the same thing! Actually, do you follow Sarah on Instagram? I know decorating her home is one of her favorite activities, and she is always re-arranging things for a fresh look, so you could find some inspiration there (: Let us know how this changes things for you… xx
Issue with my body? All of it! I have no self-love or self-esteem.
For fun, weirdly I did mine before watching the video – going for a walk.
Wonderful Lauren. I hope you continue your fun each day. The next step is makin g plans to do one fun thing a day for the next week. What’s on your agenda for today?
I have struggled with my weight since an accident in 2011 which laid me up for about a year. I gained close to 90 lbs during this time.With this weight gain i have lost interest in alot of things that i use to think as fun. I fell victim to shame, Your video was very encouraging but I can not find doing those things until I decrease my weight. I look forward to watching more of your videos and hopefully I can move past this
Please don’t put your life on hold. You deserve a beautiful life right now. Just give it a try. There has to be one fun thing that you can do today. Please let us know and keep us updated. We are here to support you.
Hi Janice, I just want to second what Bree said. I’m so glad you found this space and that you’re looking forward to the rest of the videos. Were you able to think of anything you could do for fun, today? It doesn’t have to be something from the past if you don’t want it to be – it could be something totally new and exciting! Sending love your way (:
Bree and Kelsey are exactly right, it can be something small and totally new. Maybe it’s just going for a walk, or reading your favorite book, pouring a cup of tea and snuggling on the couch. xo
My number one struggle with my body has been accepting it for what it is. I have been dieting from the age of 11 until recently at age 43. I have hated my body and felt ashamed every single day of those 32 years. It is not something I would wish on on my worst enemy, if I had one. It has kept me from so many opportunities for fun among other things in my life.
One of the things I plan to do today for fun is put on some red lipstick and sing some songs while my boyfriend plays his guitar.
Thank you for what you are doing, Just watching the videos on your site has already made a difference in my life.
You are in the right place. Welcome. Your fun for today sounds wonderful. And romantic. 🙂
Christine, I love that you sing while your boyfriend plays the guitar and doing it in red lipstick is the icing on the cake. So perfect and as Bree said, romantic.
Thank you so much for that video Sarah! Everything you said resonated with me so deeply…this is incredible. The number one struggle I have with my body is to recognize the beautiful features I have, I always compare myself with the other women and only see the flaws in me. I feel like I’m never beautiful enough and especially never slim enough. I just turned 30 a week ago and I’m ready to end this 15 years battle with my body, I’m ready to try something different 🙂
The one thing I will do for fun today is to dance in my living room on “shake it off” from Taylor Swift !
Thanks again for all your great insights Sarah, you’re a gem 🙂
Dancing in your living room sounds like a perfect way to incorporate some fun in your life TODAY. Have a blast!
Hi Caroline, thank you so much for sharing. I want you to start recognizing your beauty. What is one part of your body that you feel is beautiful right now?
How do I enrole – do I have to wait for an e-mail?
The cart opens on April 1st. In the meantime, you will get a ton of valuable information from the training videos.
I can’t wait to dive deeper with you JO and in the meantime, I hope you enjoy the next 2 videos in this series. You’re going to love. them.
Hey Sarah, your video was an eye-opener.. It feels like I have done nothing for fun since months now.. probably because of the circumstances I was in. Today i am gonna just go in there and grab myself some fun.
My number one challenge with my body has always been belly and gluteal fat.I have never been able to fit into the right size of clothes without any alterations or fixes.
For fun today, I am going to check out a hobby store nearby to see if I can get hooked onto something as I have not pursued a hobby since eternity now.
And yes, I am going to have lunch without any distractions. And for Dinner I am gonna switch off the tv and force my husband to sit at the dinner table with me.
Will check back in to talk about the difference it will make! 🙂
These are all great action steps, Pooja! I can’t wait to hear how things go in just a couple days!
Hello Pooja! Finding a hobby does sound like fun! I can’t wait to hear what you discovered to do!
Pooja, That does sound like fun! I can’t wait to hear what hobby you decide on.
Pooja, sounds like you are on the right track. Way to go! When I was looking to add more fun I thought about things I liked to do when I was younger. I used to love to make bracelets with gimp. Thanks to LMWL I am now an accomplished knitter!
Oooh Gia that’s a great idea! Pooja please check back in and let us know how the hobby hunt is going. Soooo many possibilities!!! Also have fun with your hubs at dinner tonight. I’d like to challenge you to turn it into a bit of romantic fun. Whaddya think, eh? 😉
I am so hard on myself and my body. Even when I was working out all the time and seeing results, it was never enough. Now, I have stopped working out and I am even meaner and tougher on myself. It’s causing issues w/ my husband.
So, today and all this week, I will eat my meals away from social media, TV and enjoy each morsel instead of mindless eating.
Hi Audree,
What are you going to do for fun today as well? Also, I want you to focus on letting go of the judgment around your body. I know it won’t be easy, but the more mindful we are about these things, the more we realize how hard we are really being on ourselves.
Hi Audree,
This is something I used to struggle with a lot. Are there things you can do to to begin to change the viscous cycle of being so hard on yourself? I know when I began this work creating positive mantras about my body and repeating them over and over really helped, even though I didn’t believe them at first. And like Sarah said, don’t forget to have fun! I’d love to hear what you are going to so for fun too! xo
Audree, I totally agree with Sarah and Melissa. Sounds like you’re aware of the issue of being kind of mean to yourself. The good news is that sometimes just acknowledging it can start ripples of positive change. I have struggled with this as well and have seen such huge changes since working with Sarah. Can’t wait to see the same happen for you!
Oh, I love this! As a life coach and Desire Map facilitator I teach other women to get out of the house and do things they’re passionate about and yet I have been holding back in my own life.I have wanted to return to dance and body movement classes for a long, long time but have allowed the extra weight and my fear of being seen keep me from doing it. I commit to finding classes I love and actually going to them before the month is out! Thank you for this! 😀
Viki, I can’t wait to hear which classes you go to. Dance is one of my favorite forms of movement, so I’m very excited for you.
Viki, I adore The Desire Map! Will you have a dance break for fun today?
Desire Map genius + dance and movement lover = fierce combination! Amirite? You’re going to be such a great model in a whole new way for your clients, Viki. Way to champion self-care. 🙂
My fun thing today was dancing as well! Dance can be so much fun so I hope you were able to have a dance break at some point during the day, even if for just a few minutes. Cheering you on over here!
My fun thing will just be a candlelit essential oil bath tonight. Never get round to that but so simple. thank you sarah x
I love this Sarah.
Good reminder Sarah that fun is often something very simple that we just don’t take enough time for – and I’m just learning about essential oils so great idea!
Sarah, a candlelight bath oils sounds AMAZING. Good for you!
Sarah an essential oil bath sounds like HEAVEN. Ugh – totally my favorite. I moved into a place that doesn’t have a bathtub (the horror, right?) so it totally sounds like a luxury to me. Enjoy your luxuriating simplicity tonight, love!
1) Never being satisfied with it. I remember feeling “fat” in my early twenties, and I look back now at how thin I was and i just think “what a waste! how did I not enjoy being so thin and healthy then???” Now, I’m 30, I’m not quite as taut, but certainly not “fat”. But I still see FAT when I look in the mirror.
2) I’m going to a concert!!!! So my fun is already sort of built in for today.
Have so much fun at the concert Nicole. I’ve had a similar experience with my body recently and keep in mind, it’s not about looking like your younger self, it’s about being happy in the here and now. Your body will naturally move to your ideal weight if you start taking these small action steps today!
How fun, Nicole! Who are you seeing tonight? Also, our minds can certainly play tricks on us when we look in the mirror, right? Sarah is so right – following her steps gets you to a place where you feel so peaceful with your body and gently and effortlessly just float into your ideal weight. And… it’s even fun!
Nicole, you are not alone! I have similar times when I look back on old pictures and curse myself for not appreciating what I once had. What helps me is to remember that fat is not a feeling. And also that to tell myself that I am a beautiful and wonderful woman and that the number on the scale cannot take those two things away from me. I hope you have such a fun time at the concert tonight!
My biggest struggle with my body, for my entire life, has been and is acceptance. I can remember as early as 5 years old feeling somehow different than everyone else. I’ve always had a hyper-awareness of my physical self and the space it occupies.
For my something fun today I’m going to turn on some favorite music and dance around my living r oom. I love to dance and I never do it. I live a quite stationary life and movement alone is something unfamiliar to me.
I can’t remember the third thing to comment on!
Hi Lynne, the third item is to check back in with us after you eat without distractions and let us know how it goes! Sporadic dance parties are great. My assignment for you is to make this a priority each day.
I completely understand that hyper-awareness you’re talking about, Lynne. I’ve always identified with being different myself. Enjoy your dance party! Own it
Lynne – lady you just inspired me to have a little dance part of my own tonight. Great idea! I totally felt you when you talked about being hyper aware of the space that you fill. And… aren’t we all so lucky that you fill it? Yes, yes. You and your rad dance moves. Get on wit yer bad self! 😉
What a fun adventure! So excited to embark on it with this community. Today, for fun, I went to a yoga class, even though I was too “stressed and busy – it was in fact the very thing I needed. As a health-supportive chef, I’m often running around, cooking and eating things mindlessly, which doesn’t make me feel vital no matter how vibrant the ingredients I use. I will commit to making a change to eat mindfully for the next day 🙂
Blaine, isn’t it funny that these are always just the thing we need when we don’t even realize it. I’m so glad you made this a priority for yourself today.
It’s so wonderful that you chose FUN! It sounds like you knew exactly what you needed! Committing to eating mindfully for one day is a great action step.
A chef mindfully creating a masterpiece of a meal and then mindfully and fully enjoying and savoring every single bite of it? That sounds like heaven and/or a scene out of a super fun rom com and you’re the star! Love! 🙂
Fun: What can I do for fun today? Today I will play cards with my college age kids and enjoy the entire time. They make me laugh.
Oh I love playing cards with my kids too. Our children are a wonderful inspiration for fun and play, no matter their age! Choosing something to spend time with them and have fun at the same time is wonderful!
Thanks for sharing, Audree (: I love playing a game or two of cards when I need a quick burst of fun or little pick-me-up…or break from screen time! My favorite is “speed” – what does your family like to play?
P.S. laughter = the best *fun*!
Audree, I hope you have fun with your kids today 🙂 I think laughing is the one thing that makes me feel the best in the world.
I still play cards with my parents from time to time! It’s a great way to let loose and laugh a lot. Hope you had a ton of fun 🙂
I’m starting this along with another lifestyle change that I’ve been doing since November
Great! So good you are here.
Hi Lynne and welcome! What will you be doing for fun today? I’m seriously considering jumping on my bed myself.
Look at you, Lynne, hitting it from multiple angles! Love your drive! Welcome. 🙂
#1 struggle with body:clothing feel to right , feeling heavy. Fun thing for today:blowing bubbles with the kids at the play ground 🙂
This sounds like fun, Olga. I’d love for you to find something that makes you feel amazing the next time you go shopping and buy it. Having clothes that fit us well and make us feel great is key.
Oh Olga a great idea! Blowing bubbles! I use to love that! I think I will add that to my “List of fun things to do”! Stayed tuned re the clothing and how it makes you feel as Sarah will have some great ideas for you!
Ummm… totally adding “blowing bubbles” on my list of fun things to do! I’ve been through the program and never added that one. Bam! Olga, I feel you, because it is downright impossible to fully enjoy life if one’s clothes are too tight. If I can’t easily breathe in my jeans, then there is no fun being had by me. Haha! Definitely follow Sarah’s advice and buy something that makes you feel amazing. It’s totally worth it!
Thank you so much Sarah for this amazing video. So here are my answers:
1/ My number 1 struggle with my body… Well do you have the whole night? To sum up, I do not feel like a real woman because I do not fit into a size 8. I use my body as a shield, I’m tall and large.. I’m strong and I am able to change a wheel… Everything but sexy or attractive… I avoid all the possible social interaction and I stay away from every social events.
2/I’m having fun working on my next online course. Does it count? (Honestly, I can’t even remember doing something for fun or taking time to have fun…)
Ophelie, I want you to make a list of all of the things that sound like fun for you and to start doing one activity each day, whether it’s big or small. It can be as simple as a walk, getting your nails done, dancing in your living room. Taking this time out will help make you more productive in your daily activities as well!
Ophelie, I have fun doing online courses too! Writing a list of fun things as Sarah suggests and post it on your fridge or somewhere visible can even be fun! And then you have the list for those days when you get stuck. Sometimes before doing something I say out loud “This will be fun” or after an activity ‘that was fun’ and you know what? It becomes fun! Can’t wait to hear back on what you discovered!
Ooooh I love that idea, Jill! I plan to adopt it around my own activities! Ophelie (beautiful name, by the way) we are hear to support you. Your description of not feeling like a real woman and using your body as a shield made me feel you in my bones. I can tell that, deep inside, you know what you want and need and are so close. Here to support you as you make your way there, love. <3
Ophelie,
The feelings you mentioned in #1 are tough, and I know they’re shared by many women. I just wanted to add that Sarah has a lovely conversation around femininity in her signature program that taught me how to feel sexy based on my essence, the way I carry myself, etc. and not dependent on my weight or size. What feeling or activity could you possibly tap into that might bring out that sensual, womanly side of yourself?? I can’t wait to hear your ideas! xx
Ophelie – first, you have the most beautiful name. And I have to tell you, tall and strong is sexy and attractive. I have a friend who is stronger than most men and they can’t get enough of it. Is there something you could do to start to celebrate your strength and abilities? I think it’s amazing that you can change a wheel.
As far as fun, I have been exactly where you are. I still struggle with figuring out exactly what is fun for me because I didn’t have fun for so long. Can you think of something to do that would make you smile just a little bit? Having fun doesn’t have to be stressful (sometimes when I started with Sarah I felt stressed just figuring out something fun!). Start with something small. I’d love it if you checked back with us here and told us something fun you’d love to do, even if you think others wouldn’t think it was fun. Because that’s the key – it’s fun for YOU!
Just want to reiterate here that having fun doesn’t have to mean doing anything outlandish or expensive. It can literally be singing in the shower or dancing in your bedroom for 10 minutes. You don’t have to go big right off the bat – you can start small, and then go big. Hope you had a wonderful, fun day 🙂
I can’t express my whole gratitude to each and every one of you. Reading your kind comments was a true blessing. By the way, reading all the others comments from women makes me feel very humble.
Thank you so much for the time you spent answering me. My mum is a huge fan of Shakespeare, that’s why I’ve inherited of his character’s first name (Happily, I know how to swim and I’m a brunette).
I’ve done my homework and I came up with more than 15 potential funny activities (sewing, drawing chibi, cooking bento, practicing burlesque, organizing events, singing, doing body combat or running for example…) Time to do one of them on a daily basis.
@Breanne (love that name) You are true, I know what I want to be (at least roughly) I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to follow my path and be unique… + getting rid of shame into shops/ learning how to overcome people’s humiliation when I walk/talk/ am in public (France is not the best place to be when you are not a size -2)
@Kelsey: This is a real tough question… I’ve never defined myself as sensual..Most of the time, I am a brain with hands and feet.. so.. I need to think about it again to find a consistent answer.
@Tabitha (you have the same name as a very powerful woman I enjoy) Maybe, I can start by changing the way I wear my clothes. I tend to wrap up/ hide myself/ jump into neutral clothes. I hide myself behind my body as I cover my body to be invisible. The less I am seen, the better I feel. It’s time to rearrange what I already have and revamp my wardrobe with all I already have.
My #1 struggle with my body is not losing the weight, but keeping it off for good. When I am overweight, I do not feel well physically and emotionally. I have a hard time forgiving myself for gaining the weight back again. For fun, I will go take a walk today with my Mom and myAunt. They make me laugh and they love me no matter what I weigh. Thank you Sarah for this video. You make a lot of sense and I know I need to accept my body for what it is today and continue to do things that treat my body with love and respect.
Hi Sheri, as you start treating your body with love and respect and doing these daily habits that I lay out in these videos you’ll find that your body is going to naturally start moving to your ideal weight and you’ll no longer be so focused on the number on the scale. Have a wonderful time on your walk today.
Hi Sheri. I know how you feel. For years I gave myself a hard time for putting the weight back on and then punished myself with ever more excruciating diets. We say the meanest things to ourselves! One of the greatest changes in my life since taking the programme is that I have learnt to forgive and be nice to myself.
Have a great time with your Mom and your Aunt 🙂
Thanks for sharing, Sheri! So many of us can relate to your struggles. Enjoy your walk with your mom and your aunt – girlie family time is the best!
Sheri,I hope you have a wonderful walk with your mom and aunt. When I am walking alone I love to listen to PODCASTS and books. Let us know how it goes!
Hi Sheri – I struggled so much with loving my body the way she is right now. Working with Sarah helped so much in that regard. It’s not like I don’t have bad days still, but I now focus on things like taking myself for a walk and just enjoying the feel of being in my body. Congratulations on going out for a walk with people who you feel great around! Is there something else you could do for yourself this week that would make you feel loved and appreciated?
My first thought was, “Wow!! She really understands me!”. I never give myself permission for fun or do something just for me! I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do but will post later in the day! Looking forward to a great day!!
Looking forward to hearing about the fun you made for yourself today! Sarah is an incredible person who really does understand this journey from the inside!
We’re all here cheering for you Roxanne. Be sure to check back in and let us know what you are doing for fun today!
Roxanne, like Marisa said, Sarah *totally* gets it. The longer I know her the more and more impressed I am by her insight. I hope you’re spending the day dreaming about all the possible ways to have fun! Let us know what you decide!
Hi Roxanne, don’t forget that even what we consider “little” fun counts! I want to encourage you to not put too much pressure on figuring out the right thing and instead commit to doing *anything* fun! Permission granted (;
I’m looking forward to hearing what you do, too! I always love seeing what other people do for fun because sometimes I get great ideas 🙂 And I second what Kelsey says – fun can be a tiny thing, even belting out your favourite song when it comes on while you’re driving home.
I´m in! My relationship with my body: before having children I was always strong, healthy, and had not much concern about my body. Since having two children it feels like everything around me and inside me has fallen apart in some way while at the same time I´m picking up the pieces. Coming to the realization that most of my life I had actually been “out of body” (with lucky genes and an adventurous spirit) — and since having children come flashing and painfully back “into my body” — I´ve had to face emotional trauma from past etc. as well as coming to terms that my body is not and never will be the same as before (nor will I) … and so now I think is a good time to just reflect on that alone. …. So, today I will try to put the distractions down, pay attention to what I´m eating/drinking and go do something fun. I´ll go do the red lipstick challenge 🙂 (I´ve never worn red lipstick in my life!) I´ll do a painting, and also take my kids to the beach at sunset, something we all love and definitely don´t do enough! Thanks Sarah!
Becca, I love everything you have laid out for yourself today. And I’m so glad you’re participating in the challenge!
Wow Becca thank you so much for sharing that. I can feel how difficult this has been for you, and you sound like suuuch a great mom. It also sounds like you’ve given yourself space to feel some big things that have come up, and that’s not easy. Congrats on your bravery, your fun plans today, and I can’t wait to see a pic of you with your first ever bright red lips!
Hurray, Becca! So glad you’re in and trying something new (red lipstick for me was intimidating and then totally freeing). Love that you’ve got some fun things planned for today already. I think giving yourself time to reflect is a real gift and is a great expression of love and appreciation for your body and spirit. Let us know how things went – we’re all cheering you on 🙂
A fun thing I could do today is a headstand! I can’t quite do a handstand, but flipping upside is so freeing!
I left a comment before the end of the video (I just got so excited!) and will now share a bit more about me.
I am currently in college in the midst of a body change. But having issues with my body is nothing new. In elementary school, I was the tallest kid in my class and lanky. People said I was odd looking. Then, in middle school I filled out, especially in my butt and thighs. I was taller and wider than all my friends and I was also not an athlete like the rest of them, so I was soft and curvy. In high school, I switched between loving my body and wishing with all my heart that I could have the big boobs, small waist, and small thighs of my best-friend.
Now, in college, my body has changed. After 1.5 years eating in the dining hall, more beer, and more late night snacks, my body has gotten bigger and I have established a really negative relationship with food! I only get excited about what I am eating when I can afford to eat out. Living off campus next year will hopefully ignite a new opportunity for a great food relationship (cooking, grocery shopping, etc.). But, in the here and now, I am learning to move more and love the curvier girl that I am.
Weight loss is also difficult for me because I have an older sister who is overweight, so I feel guilty that I am thinner than her. I need to accept that loving my body is loving me and that’s important. I don’t need to carry her struggle as well, just love her just as she is.
You’re absolutely right about accepting that loving your body is lovely you and that’s what is important. Also, if you’re signed up for the Live More Weigh Less Lifestyle Challenge (http://lmwlchallenge.com) share it with your sister and ask her if she wants to do it with you. I think it could be great for both of you to support each other and go through it together.
Hi Julia! I love that you’re doing a headstand for fun! Being upside down is so good for our bodies and minds. It releases endorphins and other happy chemicals – a natural anti-depressant. I can hear in your comment that college life is taking a bit of a toll on you and I can soooo relate. It sounds like you have a beautiful plan to “ignite” (love your use of that powerful word!) a whole new relationship with food. So excited to hear how it goes – and how you decide to ignite the rest of your life now in the mean time!
OMG, Julia! A handstand. I LOVE that! I wish I could do one. You’re so right about not carrying your sister’s struggle, even though you love her. Sarah’s suggestion to do the challenge with her if she’s up for it is great – I think you’d have a lot of fun!
I can absolutely relate to being in a tough spot when in your first few years in a college but really impressed that you recognize it, and are excited about taking care of yourself in the future. Thank you so much for sharing this, and I hope you did a headstand and then some!
I have always had food and body issues! Like you, I was teased in grade school for being strong and fit. My nickname was Tubs. I’ve done many diets, all of which work for a time. The bottom line for me is I am an emotional eater and stress and boredom get me started eating. I also eat mindlessly.
So today, my fun activity will be reconnecting with an old friend who left a message for me this morning. Made my day!
I will also be making an effort to eat my meals mindfully which is not something I do often.
I love your philosophy and am excited to hear more!
Let us know how things go eating without distractions, Jane. Connecting with old friends is the best.
HI Jane! I love how self-aware you seem. We need more people in the world like you! Let us know how reconnecting with your friend goes – it’s great that she reached out and great that you are taking the time and effort to maintain that connection. 🙂
Hi Jane – I completely understand where you’re coming from when it comes to emotional and boredom eating. My #1 challenge. I found that learning what could substitute for eating was huge for me. What a revelation when I first started Live More Weigh Less that food didn’t have to be my only source of fun or distraction! What are some other things that you could do instead of eating when you’re bored or upset? Could you share a couple of ideas here with all of us?
You can do a headstand!? That’s amazing!
Wow, wow, wow. This video really hit the nail on the head for me. So much to say but I’ll focus on the topics that you asked us to comment on. My current relationship with my body is very negative to be quite honest. I don’t like what I see in the mirror. Nothing fits and I dislike this because I have a great sense of fashion and wish I could express it but I can’t because nothing runs in my size. I used to be a group fitness instructor and now I can barely keep up in a spin class. My face is always breaking out. I feel a complete mess and not connected to my body at all. We are not on the same page and it’s all my fault :(.
I too started not liking my body the moment I hit puberty. Around that time, all of my friends had stick figure bodies (no offense to them) with no curves. When I hit puberty, my curves came out of nowhere and I had no one to relate too at that time. Then it got worse when I became a cheerleader. I was sometimes called as one of the “fat cheerleaders” in high school, which is funny because I look back and I was FINE. Better than fine, I was great! I may not have been a size 2, but I wasn’t this huge fat person. Being a cheerleader put extra stress on me. Perhaps people focused on my weight to feel better for not being a cheerleader? Not sure–I didn’t think being a cheerleader was everything in HS, but we are all teenagers then, so who knows. I joined WeightWatchers during my sophomore year of college. I had a great network system and “mentally competed” with my sorority sisters. It was easy for me: i was young, I had a great metabolism, etc. I lost 68 lbs! But then the real world hit and I realized that (at the time) I didn’t learn any of the foundations to eating healthy (i.e. portion sizes, etc.). But now I look back and I realized that my emotional eating came back in full force with starting my new life. I had a new job that paid very little and I had a lot of debt–it wasn’t a very positive start. Plus, my dating was a disaster and that caused a lot of stress too. I could go on and on.
So now I sit here, about 95 lbs over weight from my lowest back when I was 23 (another hammer on the nail point made by Sarah). I keep trying WeightWatchers and I keep failing. I kill myself with crazy workouts to only binge on something later. I def stress eat. I’m depressed. I’m not living the life that I want. I have a solo trip to Greece coming up in September (that’s my future “have fun now” moment, so I’m patting myself on the back for that one. Go me!) and I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself to lose weight in time for Greece so that I can enjoy the trip and not feel self conscious about my weight. I don’t want to avoid adventures or pictures because I feel fat. So that’s where I currently am on my journey and I’m thinking this is what I’ve been searching for without realizing it. I knew I could go deeper in my health journey, but I didn’t know how or where to start.
As Sarah encouraged, I’m going to do something fun today after work. This may seem silly but I want to see the new Divergent movie. I have a free movie pass that I’ve been holding on to since December and I think it’s time that I use it. A solo trip to the movies instead of waiting to go with someone. I just looked up the movie times and I’m going to make it happen (crossing fingers).
I’ll be sure to keep you guys posted. Also!! I think I’m going to blog about my experience on my own blog to share with other women (paying it forward). I’ll share the link once it’s up and running.
Thanks and HUGS!
Roseline
Rosaline, I hear everything you’re saying and know this is a community that’s here to support you and hold you up. I’m glad that you’re going to see the movie this evening. I go to the movies by myself too, I actually really enjoy it. I think blogging about your experience is also going to help you stay accountable and these shifts are going to lead to big impact in your life.
Thanks, Sarah! I’m going to write my first blog post today. I went to the movies and saw Insurgent. A nice “girl power” movie that compliments this new journey.
Ummm, Roseline there is NOTHING silly about seeing Divergent alone. I went to the last one alone and totally pretended I was for real in Dauntless the whole time and had a blast with myself. 🙂 Can’t wait to see your blog about the experience! Also, I’d love to hear more about what you love most about fashion. Fun! What are your favorite ways to express yourself fashion-wise?
Hey Breanne! Glad I’m not the only one who loves to go to movies solo. It’s honestly my preference when going to the movies nowadays, to be quite honest lol. Pinterest has really exposed me to a new level of fashion beyond the simple tshirt and jeans. I’m really into flower prints or I find myself liking similar outfits to Claire Underwood (House of Cards). When it comes to fashion, I used to always play it safe and simple. And now I want to express myself with fashion. So I’m still exploring, but excited to see where my fashion taste goes as I start to lose weight.
Roseline – I agree, going to the movies by yourself is not silly! So much fun. Seriously 🙂 I understand how you feel about fashion and your body. I struggle with the same thing – I had a subscription to WWD and Vogue when I was 8 and knew the ins and outs of the entire fashion industry. Long story short, I am not sample-size now and I struggle to engage in fashion outside of shoes and makeup. And I feel like I’m going to die in spin class. But, as I’ve worked with Sarah I’ve learned that fashionable isn’t about size so much as attitude. Sounds trite but I do think it’s true. Stick with all of us and the challenge and I bet you’ll start to find ways that you can feel fashionable no matter what size you are.
Tabitha, love your comment. So on point! Exactly the type of positive message I’ve been craving for months/years–just didn’t know where to get it. Magazines, WeightWatchers, they tell you something different and it’s not motivating me. This challenge is awesome. I’m looking forward to continuing on this journey!
As promised, here’s my first blog post: http://healthyfabfit.blogspot.com/2015/03/backagain2015.html
My number one struggle with my body has been loving myself the way I am. I’ve always beat myself up and wanted to be “perfect”. I was never skinny or pretty enough. To be honest, lately, I’ve realized I don’t have fun anymore. It really makes me sad and I know it’s something I need to work on. I’m not sure I remember what is fun to me. For fun today, I am going to go for walk and just be in nature.
Wonderful Katie! Also, think about what you’re going to do for fun the rest of the week. The more fun we bring into our lives the better.
OMG Katie this sounds like the perfect opportunity for… a “what’s truly fun for me” brainstorm with yourself. It’s my favorite. I make a list of activities and then go through and decide which ones I truly enjoy versus which ones I think I’m ‘supposed” to enjoy. The ones that give me an immediate feeling of yumminess stay. The ones that make me contract a little get crossed off. Maybe this would be fun for you to try? Have fun on your nature walk and let me know what you come up with for future fun! 🙂
BREANNE! Bless the day I finally realized that some of the activities on my fun list were merely what I thought “someone like me” SHOULD enjoy! This is such an important distinction and so helpful for *actually* having fun! Thanks for the reminder (:
Katie, that’s great that you’re going for a walk. When I started the LMWL challenge last year, I really struggled with what was fun for me. I started with walking in nature, too. What are some other things that you think might be fun? Anything you’ve ever wanted to do but felt like there was something holding you back?
A few years ago I stopped dieting and I was going to change my lifestyle. I researched the Paleo diet and even though it is called a diet, it is really a lifestyle change. My husband was on board with me and we went through our cupboards and threw everything away that wasn’t “Paleo”. We did really good for a year, but I stopped losing weight after the first few months. I love the Paleo lifestyle and really learned a lot about food, but I always feel such guilt when I eat something that isn’t Paleo. The crazy thing is that I eat so much better now than I did before I started Paleo but I still feel the same amount of guilt when I have some ice cream or some pasta as I did before when I was dieting.
The fun things I’m going to do today is yoga and I’m going to get ready to leave for my vacation with my girlfriends.
I’ll eat without distractions at lunch today.
Yoga is one of my favorite movement activities right now and I LOVE that you’re leaving for vacation with girlfriends, what could be more fun than that?
Hey Christine!
I just got back from a week long girls trip…it was so good for the soul! I know your trip will be too! Good for you for making it happen! xo
Christine I can totally relate to trying different styles of eating in the past and having some feelings of ‘success’ and also some feelings of negativity. For me, the BEST feeling is when we find a way of eating that feels authentic AND yummy AND delightful – sans the guilt trip. What are the foods that make you feel energetic and happy and full of life? My current one is pineapple because it reminds me of a trip I took to Costa Rica! 🙂
1) Acceptance of my body has been an issue since 3rd grade when a “friend” pointed out I had a belly fat roll (which after decades I finally realized it’s just how my body is shaped!). Almost thirty years later after giving birth to three children, I still have issues accepting my seemingly ever-changing body.
2) I am going to sew a play tent for my kids today for fun!
Hi Pearl, your kids are going to love the tent, I hope you play in it with them too.
Pearl that is such a great idea! I totally want to play in your tent!!!
Pearl, thank you for sharing with us. Isn’t it amazing how we remember moments like what you mentioned when you were in 3rd grade? Mine was when I was 6 and the biggest girl in my dance class.
Your tent sounds AMAZING and so fun for your kids and you!
Hi Pearl – isn’t it amazing how we carry something negative around with us for so long. Can you remember something kind that made an equal impression? I remember two boys calling out “moooooo” as I walked around the track at school in grade 7. If you haven’t already, can I suggest that you watch the video series http://sarahjenks.com/realtalk/ that Sarah and some of the other ladies commenting here worked on? They have some amazing things to say about body acceptance. You’re definitely not alone, we’re all here with you. Enjoy sewing the tent and maybe playing a bit in it, too! That sounds like all sorts of fun!
I stopped everything I was doing to watch all of your videos in a row. I have rare moments of such clarity and conviction about doing something. What you are offering, Sarah, is something I have no questions or reservations about needing and wanting to do. Looking forward to getting more involved.
Hello Josiane! It is great to have you here! I did the program 2 years ago and I have learned so much. Just wondering what you are going to do that is fun today?
~Jill ~
Josiane I love it when something calls me so deeply that I’m like, “I have to stop everything and do this NOW.” Hahaha! Sounds like that was your experience with the videos and I can totally relate. Crazy how choices based on those feelings always lead us into amazing things. Savor this rare moment of clarity – we’re so happy to have you joining us! 🙂
Hi Josiane – Great to have you here. I loved the challenge last year and learned so much about myself. What are you doing for fun today or this week? I’d love to hear! As I commented earlier, I’m always looking for new ideas 🙂