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2,725 Comments
Hi Montana,
You’re definitely not the only one! I am wondering if you can put a name to those things you desire and feel you are missing out on. If so, you can take steps toward making them a reality. If not, perhaps you are perfectly content, and this, instead, is some misplaced anxiety. That being said, it sounds like you do really enjoy your job. Great! Revel in that. However, it also sounds like you are also missing some creativity in your life. This doesn’t have to come in the form of your job. Do you want to paint? Draw? Write? Play an instrument? Change the interior of your living room? Join a volunteer organization that allows you to problem-solve?
Of course, we would never advise you to settle. If there is a part of you which is not fulfilled, work on pinpointing what that is, and make changes. We are here to support you. However, I also want to say: you have permission to be happy. If you are able to focus on the good in YOUR life, and you are content, so be it! In fact, millions are dying to be there (; You do you, Montana.
I found the first video a real eye opener. I am the first to admit that ‘fun’ gets shunted right on down the list, with ‘responsibilities’ taking priority. I’m a mum, working on my education degree, while I work part time in a classroom and try to meet the needs of my two boys. I feel like I’m always being pulled in a hundred different directions – and there’s usually someone else relying on me to ‘get it done’. If I was the only one that dropping the ball would affect, I’d be less worried about it, I guess.I know that my extra pounds are the result of neglecting my body, but I feel like all the other stuff just pushes its way higher up the list.
So…how do I get past the guilt, and the constant ‘busyness’, without that constant feeling that I’m letting somebody down?
Amanda, I have been where you are! Feeling as if “I can relax and have fun AFTER I finish ____________(fill in the blank with a million tasks needing attention).” What I can tell you is that even though I know you do have real responsibilities, it is usually a trick to think that way. To tell you the truth it took me volunteering to help out with a presidential campaign before I truly had my “ah ha” moment of realizing even the President of the United States has some downtime and vacation time…surely, my own work obligations couldn’t be more significant than the President’s job, right?! Anyway, what I have found through my own trial and error in the years since is that letting some things go and also finding ways to make the moments of what I am actually doing happier, really do help a lot. Even if it’s work, in other words, it doesn’t have to be drudgery. Sometimes, making it a game for ourselves like we would do for a child is fun.
These are some great insights, Amanda. Sarah speaks SO MUCH to this in her program, as it’s full of busy, busy women, who often place their needs last, after taking care of everyone else. Take it one small step at a time. Choose one fun thing or one bit of self-care; try it out, and see how that feels for you. Does your body thank you for giving her some attention? Are those around you a little more at ease? You won’t know what works for you, until you try. Let us know… xx
Hi Amanda – a lot of us feel guilty for taking time for ourselves when we feel responsible for so many people and things. And, at a certain point, you realize that you will actually be a better mom/student if you allow yourself to have fun, relax and de-stress. And you’ll also probably get more done in less time if you get to have fun, too.
1)I’ve always thought I was so fat.I have mentally beat myself to a pulp with negative commentary that I would never in a million years use/say to anyone else. Yet i have been speaking that way to myself for as long as I can remember.
2) I am going to practice calligraphy strokes for 30 minutes each night and post pictures of my progreass
Rita, I’m glad you found us. I know it can be hard to overcome negative self talk. It is SO much easier with a supportive and understanding community around you. I hope you will find something nice to say to yourself about your body today, just the way she is right now. Even if it seems a bit of a stretch. Please try it! You know what they say: the greatest journey begins with a single step. xo
Hi, Rita! Welcome (: I second what Sandy said! And, I love calligraphy. Will you be posting progress pics on social media?
MY number one struggle with my body has been my mind making me hate it! Right now I’m going to dance around to taylor swift’s shake it off in my room for fun! 🙂
Hi Lucy. I get it and we need to suppress that inner mean girl in our head. What are the things she says to you? I want you to write them down then write out all of the ways that you know they aren’t true.
Hi Lucy! I am so glad you are realizing it is the mean voice in your head that is affecting how you see yourself. I have struggled with guilt and a friend recently told me to replace guilt with gratitude. For example – rather than feeling guilty when we go out for supper, I give thanks that I have people to socialize with in this way. I turn the eating out into a fun activity. Just a thought! Come back and tell us how the dancing went!
My number one struggle with my body has been being overweight, by society’s standards. I will manage to lose weight and then slowly gain it back. I can never seem to keep it off even when I know how critical it is to my health. I’m a breast cancer survivor and excess weight is a risk. I lost some weight in the first year after my diagnosis but have gained it all back. So, because losing weight is not just an aesthetic drive but also a health drive, I kick myself even harder when I don’t make progress.
For fun, I am running around and chasing my cat!
Susan, I’m so glad you got through the breast cancer. I bet you can get through anything you set your mind to.
I was in a similar pattern of losing and regaining weight for many years. It is exhausting and frustrating. For me, I knew it was from my own mixed feelings about what society judges in women and a kind of personal resistance to just fully living my life because I was so self-conscious at my healthiest weight.
LMWL is a great community where women come together in support, not judgment, jealousy or assumption. Welcome here!
It is sort of amazing to see how many women struggle with themselves as I do. My biggest worry right now is the internal self hate talk, the devil on my shoulder. This website is giving me hope.
Welcome, Karyn! Nice to have you here.
Thank you for your inspiring video. I have struggled going up and down the scale since I turned 18, left for college and began to eat out of heart hunger. I have healed a great deal, but still struggle with old feelings coming up and body hatred. I’m now a health coach and focus on programs for young girls 8-11 to hopefully prevent the struggle that a lot of us have gone through.
For fun I would like to purchase a bike and ride just for fun, like I did as a little girl. Nothing but sun, wind and enjoying the colors of nature not thinking about the cardio aspects of cycling, just pure pleasure.
Hi Laura, I’m so glad you were able to take away something really important and life changing from the video…it really makes a difference enjoying what you do; somehow we tend to lose the enjoyment in “exercising” as we get older. Enjoy your bike ride and I encourage you to schedule it into your day/weekend to keep yourself accountable;) were you able to join in on the launch party?
I have been struggling with my weight all my life. I would lose and gain all the time. And like you said I was waiting to loose weight to “start” my life. Right now I feel stuck in a rut when it comes to life. I feel nothings “positive” is happening. I honestly do not know what I am going to do for fun today but I do plan on this weekend going to a concert. I love live music and I haven’t done that in a while because of my fear of being judged about my weight and looks.
Liza, the concert sounds fun. Music in general can be inspiring, too. Maybe play more of the music you like in your day-to-day life? Even if it is just on the radio..
I have found that once I had made one positive change, then I did realize other positive things that I’d like to do in my life. There is a ripple effect that seems to happen. I also think you could read through all the other great comments here to get some ideas to spark your own desires, again.
My number one struggle with my body is constantly worrying about the way that I look and the way that other people are thinking about how I look. I spend so much time looking at myself in every reflective surface to see what I can change to make myself look better or to better hide my imperfections. Any time that I am not distracted by an activity that I am doing I am thinking about how other people perceive me. I don’t like meeting new people or seeing people that I knew in university because I’m sure that all they’re thinking is “Wow she’s so fat!”. It’s really taken a toll on my social life and taken away from my enjoyment of spending time with others. Today for fun I am going to get out of my apartment, go to a cafe, and read some of my book.
Danielle I do understand what is like to feel self conscious. At the same time, I have to say that when I am out and about, I am not paying much attention to how heavy or thin other people are. Personally, I notice a positive attitude (or a negative one for that matter) first. And I don’t think I’m that unique. There is an old saying that goes something like, “you wouldn’t worry so much about what people think about you, if you realized how little they did.” Hope that helps.
My weight has yoyoed my entire life. I too walked into my first weight watchers at age ten. Since I have tried every diet under the sun including eating raw for seven months! I am currently pregnant and struggled through the first trimester as my body was so quickly changing. I finally have my baby bump that I love but still am having a hard time feeling confident in my new form. Today I will go to a prenatal yoga class!
Congratulations on your pregnancy Margaux. We’re cheering you on!
Hurray, Margaux! A pre-natal yoga class is a great way to have fun and to connect to your body right in the moment. This might sound like a funny questions, but what are some things you love about your pregnant body in addition to your baby bump?
I will just relax tonight, take care of myself, put some oils and lotion on, take a warm bath, watch my favorite TV series. Tomorrow I plan on take a jog outside with my two golden retrievers.
This sounds lovely Ana. Have a wonderful evening.
Hi, your email was on que, it’s exactly the morning when I said to myself “that’s it I’m fed up about thinking and stressing about loosing weight every single day..” I tried to change my lifestyle, joined an exclusive club, going to the gym at least 4-5/week, tried different diet pills and diet coffee, supplements, high fiber-protein low carb low fat diets etc. watching your video live more weigh less helped me realized that I don’t need to sacrifice what I love doing most and makes me happy, so today I’ll have some fun..I’m going back to my kitchen and I’ll cook- bake real food and enjoy it
It’s hard to say what my number one struggle has been, as there’s not really one part of my body that I like! Even parts I think I’m OK with one day, I catch a slightly different view in the mirror and realise I’m not! I’ve been struggling with my weight since my teens. I think the main thing that’s getting me down at the moment is feeling like my life’s on hold – my boyfriend and I are living in the Middle East on secondment with work, and using the time to save up to go travelling in January. We haven’t made any friends as most things to do here cost money which we’re trying not to do, work is stressful and we seem to come home and both sit at our laptops not speaking to each other for most of the night! So much of what you were saying made perfect sense and it’s so nice to hear it from someone who has actually been through it and knows exactly how I feel! Going to start the eating without distractions tomorrow (dinner is always in front of the TV at the moment) and build more fun into my life – I just need to be more imaginative and creative in finding fun things that don’t cost money. Also seems like the perfect time to work on my relationship which sometimes suffers from my lack of self-confidence.
For fun (tomorrow as it’s time for bed now!) I’m going to draw on a mug with sharpies and give it to my boyfriend… this might not sound fun but I made some for work colleagues and found the process really therapeutic!
Thank you for the inspiration, can’t wait to start this journey.
I’m one of those women with seemingly no will power whatsoever when it comes to food. I’ll start a diet and stick to it for a week or two, lose a few pounds, and then go right back to eating all of the crap that got me here in the first place. I am currently about 50 or 60 pounds overweight. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) which causes insulin resistance and puts me at higher risk for diabetes and heart disease. My husband and son both have super high metabolism. They seem to be able to eat whatever, whenever and never gain an ounce. They are also both very picky eaters which makes cooking a challenge. Basically, I hate my body to the point of not wanting to be intimate, turning down social invitations and wearing jeans and old t-shirts everyday. I never get dressed up or do my hair and makeup anymore. I’m not in body jail, I feel like I’ve been sentenced to life in body prison without the possibility of parole. I really need this program. So thankful to simplegreensmoothies.com for bringing it into my life.
Today for fun, I’m going to the playground with my son. Instead of just watching him play, I’m going on the swings like I used to as a little girl. Can’t wait to feel the wind rushing past me!
First, I am so glad I found you. Thank you Sark! Listening to your first video, this is exactly what I have been struggling with, I use to have so much wild, adventurous fun when I was fit (my word for thinner, because fitness is more important to me) and now that I am heavier resulting from a hysterectomy, and its so hard to get back to a happy fitness level. Therefore, I am not as fun and adventurous and it is really pissing me off. Since
last September, I started walking more and have taken off 10 lbs.I am really encouraged by my improvement. My husband and I are active together and have fun – but there is usually some restriction involved.
My Action plan fun for today: air out my backpack, test load it for my pilgramage on the Camino de Santiago and go for a walk with it on! (Note: this may not sound fun to most, but this is a treasured delight for a hiker).
Thank you, I look forward to your and your communities
support!
Peace,
LiseMaria
Deep breath…. I would have to say my negative relationship with my body started when I started to get boobs. I remember my mom saying that we were going to need to go get a bra, especially for soccer. I hated it! I didn’t want my body to change, I loved playing sports and running around exploring- I wasn’t open to my body changing. As my body continued to change I started hating it more and more, I never felt beautiful or ok in my skin. It’s funny to think about how I couldn’t accept my body even then and now would give anything to be back in that body! Now that I really think about it, I can say the times I felt good in my body were times that I felt confident, independent and doing something fun: the summer I first lived on my own, coached at a summer soccer camp, and went to the beach daily- ah to be 20, so carefree! And the second time was again living away from home, leading week long backpack and canoe trips for middle schoolers, I met my husband that summer, I was active and outside everyday. Flash forward 18 yrs- two babies later, possibly premenopausal, and fatter than I’ve ever been. I don’t even know what lights me up anymore, can’t remember the last time I sat down to eat breakfast and I’m caught up in the “shoulda” and “need to” cycle.
For fun today, I will actually be present while playing outside with my kids- leave the phone inside and not think about what else needs to be getting done! And tomorrow I will wake up early enough to that I can sit with my family to eat breakfast, not shoving food in my mouth while making lunches! (I are lunch while watching this video-good distraction?!?)
Thank you.
Hi Marina. It definitely sounds like being outdoors is what lights you up and brings you the most joy. How old are your children? Are they into soccer? If so, maybe you could get them a goal and soccer ball to play around with and join in with them when you’re feeling up for it. Have you considered going on a family hike? Maybe you could plan a day trip if there’s an area nearby where you could go. I love how you committed to being present with your kids instead of worrying about your to-do list. I think this is so important for us as mothers and for our children.
I guess my biggest problem is when I eat I want to feel full and I never feel full. So I’ll try this eating without distraction
Hi Karlee, let us know how it goes and being full vs. satisfied are very different. I would love for you to eat until you are satisfied and check in with yourself between bites to see how you’re really feeling. When we are full we feel stuffed, lethargic and bloated and I don’t want you to feel that way.
I’m just too padded all around my hips and my middle. I’ve been struggling to lose 15 pounds for about 2 years. I’ve been close to my goal weight, but no cigar. When I get down, it’s an illusion that I can eat this and that and then gain the weight back. Yuck. Fun, isn’t that what life is about? Isn’t that what we are supposed to be doing vs. being obsessed every minute every day about losing weight and what to eat and what clothes will fit and what will they say when they see me? Today, I’m lugging my easel upstairs and setting it up. I used to draw portraits of smiling faces and was occupied with those thoughts vs. occupied with thoughts of counting calories and categories and when to eat again.
Absolutely Fern. Think of all that extra room in your brain you will have when you are not worrying about that same 15 pounds. Drawing portraits sounds amazing, I wish I could draw! Hope you have lots of fun 🙂
My #1 struggle lately has been candy/chocolate/junk food. I really feel like it is an addiction that drives me. Your video really opened my eyes that I will continue to struggle until I truly find the reason WHY?!?
I am so out of touch with fun, I can’t even remember what it is. I’m a working mom of two beautiful boys who absolutely have my heart and the wife to an amazing man who not only works hard at his job but is simultaneously completing his master’s degree. We laugh and have “fun” as a family daily, but no one (including myself) has asked ME what I would find fun in a long time. This is something I need to really think about. I have no answer for this question right now.
Eating my lunch at work without distractions was revolutionary. I can’t wait to do it again at the next meal.
Thank you so much for your passion to help women change their lives!
Sounds like your doing great Jennifer! I think when we become mother’s we usually put the needs of others before ourselves. The trouble is we are the engine that keeps everyone else going. We need to look after ourselves too! I look forward to hearing you come up with some fun just for you 🙂
While watching your video, I felt like someone was reading into my life. I want to be thinner and because of medical reasons I need to lose 30 pounds. Prior to having my kids and severe depression I had a shape out of this world and weighted no more than 135. I’ve told myself that maybe I’ll meet friends and my spouse when I’m smaller back to myself again but that’s been going on for 8 years now. I lost 30 pounds a few years ago but after losing my job and other life problems I gained it back over a years time. I want to lose this weight extremely bad but can’t seem to find the time or energy for myself as all of my time and energy goes to my children. Oh I forgot to mention I’m a single mother. I want to enjoy life again, feel good about myself and meet good people that’ll be good friends. I believe this aids in.weight loss because you’re out enjoying yourself and too busy living to sit in the house eating to fill your voids.For fun today I’ll be taking my kids out to a couple of movies and dinner afterwards.
Hi Adrienne. It is so easy to think that when I’m thinner I will have a different life and be happy. But you’re right you can’t lose the weight until you enjoy life and feel good about yourself. Go for it and have some fun, we are with you!
Doctors appointment yesterday revealed what I already knew. I am overweight, out of shape and pre diabetic.
One of her other patients is using your program and challenges to lose weight and loving it. So here I am.
I do love smoothies..here we go….
Great to have you here Lee! So what can you do to add fun into your day?
I am so glad I found you! My journey with my body and loving myself has always been a struggle. It consumes a huge part of my life and takes up way too much time. Time away from me being my best happiest self. Time away from fully enjoying my relationships with family and friends. I am enough and I am worth this journey of self discovery and mostly loving myself! Today I am going to be present and have FUN with my son and nephew! Thank you;)
We are so glad this is resonating with you.
Yes! When you stop focusing on losing weight, you gain so much time and energy! You have a ton of bandwidth freed up to focus on the things that make you passionate and happy.
I’ve been struggling with my body image since I was in middle school and chose to go on my first diet. I lost a lot of weight but I never really saw myself as anything other than fat. It changed a lot when I went to college and I stopped weighing myself started running and dancing and was generally happy. That lasted for about a year and a half and then when my college classes intensified and I was realizing that I didn’t have as many good friends as I once thought, I stopped running and dancing and just ate my emotions. I’vestruggled on and off with my weight ever since. Every time I’m stressed and busy with school and now work I use it to justify my not having fun, not running, and m I thoughgains.my weight gains. I thought things would change when I got into a healthy relationship and now I’m in one with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and I quickly realized that I still have all the same body image issues. He ofcourse doesn’t care and just wants me to be happy with myself and whatever weight I am, and I know that I have to change the way I look at myself otherwise I’m going to let my weight control me instead of me controlling it. For fun today I’m going to try and get back to the things that I know make me happy, I’m going to go for a run.
Hi Devin. I think its amazing and quite scary how young we are when our body image issues start. Enjoy your run. Make sure its really fun for you. What else can you do that you really enjoy?
Excited to join 🙂
Its an exciting place to be! Welcome Myerlin 🙂
I always feel fat and not attractive at all. Even though am my husband tells me I look great because I have lost weight I still don’t feel good, and my struggle is in my stomach. I do run, exercise, lift weights but still I feel that something inside of me is missing omg now that am thinking about it I think am depress of my weight and the way I look. But I really want a change.
Hi Edith. Have you always felt that way? Do you remember a time when your weight wasn’t at the front of your mind all the time. What did you do? How did you have fun?
My biggest struggle with my body is my stomach. I feel constantly bloated and look like I’m five months pregnant. I’m physically active and fit – I’ve run multiple marathons and teach fitness classes 3 days a week, but my stomach is soft and pudgy. I’m 41 years old and fear that I will never feel good about myself.For fun today I will focus on learning some new poses for my yoga class.
I have struggled with body image since elementary school. 1st-5th I was chubbier than all my friends. 6th grade hit puberty and lost weight without trying. HS remained healthy weight, cheered and played softball but still insecure because was super pale (didn’t tan) and was shapely instead of just thin. College without sports, started gaining. I met my husband at 16 and have been together ever since so in college wasn’t too worried about staying hot for going out. Anyway, diagnosed with depression at 21 after attempting suicide because I felT like more of a burden on people because I was so unhappy. I am now 37. Great husband and 2 beautiful sons that I feel like I don’t enjoy because of my depression And I think it all revolves around weight. I always feel as if I’m trapped inside someone else’s body. I’m never in family pics because I hate photos. I don’t go swimming because insecure. I’m a stay at home mom and leave house maybe once a week because I’m too insecure. Inside I want to dance again (my favorite hobby and sport), swim again, be in pics, go on dates with my husband and hang with my friends. None if which I do anymore because I feel like everyone looks at me like I’m less than them. I always say if I was just smaller I could take the boys swimming, take them to theme parks, take them in public period!! I could go on dates and catch up with friends that I avoid because I don’t want them to see me this way. Why does everyone else seems so much happier.
Anyway…if I could do one thing for fun TODAY…I’d take my youngest swimming while oldest in school because no one at the community pool. He would love it.
I completely relate to your experience of not doing things because you’re self-conscious. I’ve become a shut-in almost and don’t leave the house except for work and groceries. Most days I don’t even dress. Regarding not going out….I feel like I take up too much space in the world and a m an imposition on it. I have to learn how to feel okay claiming space in the world, no matter how much space that is. So, I’m RI RI with you!
What a powerful story, Jennifer! I am so proud of you for taking your son swimming! Was it a ton of fun? Let’s know how it went.
I hope you have someone you can talk to (a doctor or therapist) about your depression and that you shared with them your belief that your depression revolves around your weight. Before I did LMWL, I was really lackadaisical about going to therapy and only half-committed to my treatment because I secretly believed losing weight (or diet or exercise) was all it would take to cure my mental illness. But, losing weight isn’t going to change the way your brain is wired.
It’s okay to take tiny steps! If you haven’t already, I’d encourage you join the LMWL Challenge over on FB and Instagram for simple tasks on how to bring more joy into your life.
So I’m 17 and I found this course by chance. Since I was a little girl, I’ve always been known as the “big boned” girl of the family who got a lot of my dad’s genes. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I really felt self conscious about my weight. I’m relatively short and even though I’m over weight, I don’t so much look over weight, I more feel overweight. So today, I’m going to scrapbook with clippings from magazines I’ve cut out of over the months. And maybe blast the music in my car and sing super loud 🙂
Lily how exciting for you to find this program at this point in your life! It is wonderful to have you along! I love your idea of blasting the music in the car and singing loud! It is one of my favorite things to do too! Can’t wait to hear more of what you discover about yourself as you join us on this journey!
I hate my body. I am at my heaviest weight, over 200lbs, 6yrs ago I worked out with a trainer on a very strict diet and got down to a size 6 but injured my shoulder and had surgery, quit training and gained it all back. Now I can’t get the motivation to workout anymore. My life is stressful and busy especially since I decided to go back to school and get my RN license. My husband runs every morning and is slimming down so now I feel like the “fat” one, and it sucks. I want to get motivated to get back to working out and feeling sexy again.
For fun today, a friend is meeting me at the gym to workout and I am going shopping to buy stuff to make my daughter (who is in college) and her roommates Easter baskets and ship those out to her! I get excited to do that because I know they will be excited to receive it in the mail and open it up.
Going to try the “eating without distractions” which is a goal in itself in my home.
Loved the video. Just want to like myself and not feel worthless.
Oh Nancy! You are not worthless! And you have come to the right place to feel loved and supported by others! We are all on this journey together! Did you think of something fun to do? It can be simple like a walk in the park or may take more planning like going to an event? Be sure to come back and share with us!