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2,725 Comments
I enjoyed the video, so important to love your own body and treat it well. Am going to pamper myself more regularly after having my lovely bath tonight. I’m single at the moment so I have been going on dates but I’m just enjoying being single for now.
I often think we need to have a loving romance with ourself first- so I love your comment. Take yourself out on dates, give yourself loving attention and then you will be the energy of love itself and attract that!
I will make sure I always greet and leave my husband with a kiss.
I will book a monthly back massage.
These both sound so good! Keep us up to date on the progress.
Lovely to listen to reason. I have thought all my life I needed a prefect body and listening to you I now know I just needed to love myself. I love your ideas and realistic and challenging thoughts on becoming happy and loving myself. I haven’t loved myself for a long time. Today I begin by going for a walk in the sunshine – maybe along the beach (one of my favourite places – by the sea) and your right it has been many months since I have done this and it is something I love. Today I will love me a little more. Thank you.
Wow- your share gave me tingles! Walking in the sunshine feels so good AND it will help shift these negative mean thoughts we can have about ourselves. Awesome!
I’m going to moisturiser at least twice a week.
I’m going to nag my partner less and spend quality time with him at least 1-2 times a week
Wow! This is a hard one. I’ve had so many ups & downs in my romantic relationships and I know it stems from a sense that I won’t be worthy of the guy that I want to meet. I want a man who is masculine, strong, loving, and adores me, but I feel like I’ll never be able to find him because I’m fat! I blame everything wrong with me and why people don’t like me on the fact that I’m fat- which makes me feel insecure and like no one could ever love me.
I think to cure this, I’m going to start talking more positive to my body and moisturize, take baths, and do more to bring a sense of romance and adventure into my life.
I am currently single -I too have struggled telling myself well I’ll be ready to date more once I check this list of things to accomplish off my list. I don’t have TIME! Well I do have time and I haven’t been making time. I have lots of excuses but to be honest it’s just scary -the fear of rejection-the I’ve signed up on website and get NO hits -all the gremlin voices. I’m done listening to them anymore.
To help facilite dating I am nurturing my little soul–self care is very important to me –doing more of the things I enjoy and just getting out more!
I will show up for myself today by going for a walk -reading a book quietly and FLOSSING and applying lotion to care for my body. I love the how you reminded us that this is the vessel we have to carry us through life –we must take care of it!
Loving this challenge and all these lovely women who are brace enough to share their stories ❤️
Romantic relationships are something that have always taken a back burner in my life. I married at 20 and divorced at 23 (neither choice I regret, we were so young and the split was amicable). Then I spent a lot of time in my 20s hooking up with guys but avoiding relationships because I felt it put me in position of power and kept my heart protected. At 29 I became a mom (her Dad and I were always just friends, we’re actually great at co-parenting). When I started to date again at 31 it had been so long since I had been in a relationship – over 10 years since I had called anyone a “boyfriend”! I just stayed in the same pattern of dating guys that I didn’t really enjoy, or keeping things only casual and physical to avoid emotional connection. I either spent way too much time with people I didn’t like, or I got my heart broken by people who were not truly available for me. I spent little to no effort on myself when I would meet someone new, I had low expectations of what a date would involve. I sold myself short, a lot. After my last break, over a year ago, I realized I needed to stop dating all together to spend time healing myself. I needed to be honest about what I want in a relationship, who I want that with and who I am as a partner.
The truth is, a lot of my fear in starting to date again came from the internal dialogue that Sarah nails – waiting on the weight. I want to look a certain way, and feel like my life is in a certain place before I put myself out there. I’ve told myself too many times “I’m overweight, out of shape, still trying to figure out a career, stagnant in my life…the kind of men I want to date aren’t going to want to date me”
It’s been absolutely beneficial for my to spend the last year single, not looking. I really did get a chance to heal and make peace with my past. But I’m turning that corner of healing and I won’t avoid dating just because I’m not the woman I envisioned myself to be when I would take that leap. I will date differently, with pride and purpose. I will feel alive, have fun, be connected with true myself when I meet someone new.
I am so so guilty of being mean to my body with my words. I’m harsh and critical and downright mean sometimes. There are times that I feel beautiful, or proud of what my body has done and can do…I need to love her more. I’ve always felt like spending money on my appearance was frivolous and made me uncomfortable. I take pride in the money I save by buying cheap clothes, not paying for things like pedicures or getting my brows waxed. I’m realizing there has to be balance there. When I envisioned myself as finally becoming a thin, happy, confident woman – My clothes were put together, and fun! I had just a little bit of makeup to highlight my features, that I loved to put on. My hair was soft and flowy and beautiful.
Sarah’s wisdom and her ability to speak to me so genuinely finally hits home the truth that I am worth the investment in myself! So I am going to use a gift card that’s been sitting in my wallet to get a facial and a massage. I am going to buy a new outfit and shoes that I feel beautiful in. Everyday I am going to moisturize my skin and tell my body that I love her and I want us to be friends, with unconditional acceptance.
My responses to this are so long! I appreciate the ability to write out so much in a candid way, it’s very healing for me since it’s not something I discuss with many people regularly.
I really enjoy reading the comments everyone is writing, it’s inspiring 🙂
Thank you Sarah!
Day 5 #livemorechallenge
1. I am going to stop waiting on the weight and take my family photos. It has been 5 years and I keep saying next year we will do it when I lose the weight. I am also going to actually wear a swimsuit at this weekend’s BBQ and enjoy the pool and not be on the sideline.
2. I am going to come home and do something for me first instead of chores/homework/cooking and tending to them and get into a happy place so that I can be my best and give off love instead of resentment.
3. I will layout and give my skin the sunkiss it needs and loves.
The photo is a great idea. Everytime you look at the pictures you will be reminded that this is when you started that great relationship with your body. The idea to come home and do something for yourself first is a great one. Thanks for sharing.
I have been single for about 2 years now and I plan on getting out more and having fun and hopefully that will attract a guy or two to want to have fun with me. 😉
As for my relationship with my body, I plan on wearing something that makes me feel sexy and dancing around my house without a care in the world!
I know I can show up better in my relationship. We have two young kids, we both work full time and are currently working very hard on getting rid of our debt. This leaves us with little quality time together where we both have any amount of energy. I know my husband feels more connected to me when we are intimate, and I know that I feel the same. We (mostly I) get into a space where it is just easier not to be intimate and I avoid it. The more I avoid it, the less I want it. The less I want it, the more I avoid it. It’s a terrible cycle and I’ve tried to break it before but I continue to find my way down the path and the more disconnected we become. I feel like this is something I would love to improve on, and know my husband would love it too. 🙂 I’m just not entirely sure how. But perhaps bringing it to the forefront and examining it a little deeper will be the first step towards showing up more in my relationship.
As for my body, I am working hard on finding peace and some days even love for my body. It’s been a struggle for sure, having body shamed myself for so many years. I did lose a lot of weight and it was not an automatic ‘fix’ for my lack of self-love. But once I realized this, I’ve started to put more time and energy into healing my relationship with my body, taking care of my body and being thankful for all that it has done and continues to do for me. That’s why I’m here. To learn more and to experience more self-care. And it’s working!
This video definitely stirred some emotions!
I have been single for 5 years and haven’t dated either. After the abusive relationship I have been too aftaid to. My task is to address those fears and maybe show an interest in men again. Maybe flirt or something. Baby steps 🙂
Secondly, I will do my hair tonight, apply a face mask and have a foot bath 🙂
Thank you very much, Sarah x
I have been making a LOT of overdue personal changes lately, not all of which have been well received by my husband. I was just thinking earlier of dropping him off a surprise at work (well, I actually thought flowers–but tha might be a little selfish!) a gift bag with things he would like–snacks, a movie pass for 2, a love note Just to let him know he’s loved and appreciated.
My silly ipad posted accidentally! And as for loving my body-I too am guilty of overdrive. So I am being more intentional about rest, and trying to find balance. Life, it turns out, is better as a Sunday drive than the Indy 500.
It’s interesting how I came to this whole challenge, already beginning some of these things. Waiting on life to change so I could change my attitude was proving to only make me more unhappy. I have started to fix up the areas of my home that I wish we had more money to fix and to just appreciate that I have a beautiful home and family. To love my body Today I will dress her in something that makes me feel good. To tend to my relationship I will stop what I am doing when my husband comes home and really feel grateful for his love for a moment before I load him down with his second shift of house work and Daddy duties.
I tend to come home exhausted and usually frustrated with how my work day was and my focus is usually on relaxing through food and then getting into bed as fast as possible. I am going to start putting out clothing (that isn’t my pajamas) that is more flowy and feminine to put on when I get home and taking a minute to wash my face and brush out my hair (or get in a full shower if I have enough time) and focusing on him for a few minutes before starting dinner.
I am going to start listening to what my body wants more instead of doing my default which is to power through my to do list even if I really need a nap or a walk or to unwind with a shower, and to practice this on a daily basis. My body has way too much stress all the time and not enough of the “rest and digest” mode going on!
I am going to use my self tan moisturiser every day. It makes me feel happier in my body as I’m happy with my weight but would like to tone up.
I’m going to try and come in from work calmer and take a minute for myself before getting into the daily tea routine. I’m going to try to organise some time for me and hubby to go out.
Thanks Sarah great video!
I’m famous for coming home from a extremely long day and go right into dinosaur mode with my husband. Everything’s annoying and i complain about his not dropping what he is doing to be with me, how dare him not want to get in bed and prepare for sleep at 7 at night… i sound ridiculous as i type this. I need to focus on winding down when i come home by showering and relaxing and then physically going to him and asking him about his day, take the spot light off me as news flash it isn’t always about me.
Taking a new action with treating my body well… lotion on my body amd a massage sounds good.
1. I need to learn to COMMUNICATE OPENLY in my current non-committal relationship. How I’m feeling needs to be expressed.
2. My action step today is going to be massage, a manicure, pedicure, and perhaps ingredients to make a really healthy, plant-based meal.
Yay!
Thanks for the great video #2. In my romantic relationship I am going to remember that if I come across as crabby or irritable, it effects my husband and his mood. I have already gotten a lot better at this then I used to. It makes the whole family happier. Its the little things that mean so much more like grabbing his hand or doing something for him. I can’t complain since he also helps out quite a bit and really helps out around the house and with the kids. We went through a really rough patch several years ago but we managed to come out stronger than ever and more loving. No relationship is perfect and there are ups and downs but if you really try to be partners and a team it makes it all so much more rewarding. As for my body, I am addicted to sugar, especially candy and sodas and made the decision to just eliminate for now, this cold turkey method works better for me and I actually am starting to loose those cravings. I am learning that by keeping busy and planning a healthy snack and using the mindful eating that I can control that part of my life. I am also working on getting rid of the excess stuff around the house and trying to organize. This keeps me active, makes life better for the kids and my hubby and I do think that extra stuff can add the extra pounds. I am feeling so much better this week by doing these small, doable changes and also incorporating using stairs instead of elevators and things like that to add a little extra fitness into my routine.
Romantically my husband and I are in a rut right now, we have a great relationship but I am just finishing me degree (I’ll be done Sunday) and he is just starting school so we have both been really busy. So I will ask him if he and I can have a date night tonight or tomorrow.
I’ve learned a long time ago that I can’t wait on the weight – that was my aha moment when I married my husband 3 years ago, I wanted to wait until I looked amazing to get married but realized it was so dumb to wait when all that really mattered is that we both loved and wanted to be with each other. However I am just starting my own coaching business and I have been stalling because of my weight so time to stop that and get moving. So today I will finish up the loose ends on my website and send emails to my close friends, and post on fb about starting my business. I had done it once already but I didn’t follow through and I changed my website since then.
Lastly for loving my body I am going to take the time today to do my favorite workout program or go for a walk to get my heart pumping!
Wow…this video was amazing and hit on every one of my emotions. I am on the defensive at home. I have created this world where if I can deflect, create a little tension and distance than I don’t have to deal with the intimacy. Add the old sweats and messy up-do and that just adds to putting up the wall in my relationship. I am going to start by ditching the sweats for something that makes me feel pretty and feminine and I just picked a date for next week to cook a romantic dinner for my husband after the kids fall asleep. That used to me the norm and now it makes me feel nervous!
As for my body, I really like what allot of women shared in their comments and realized I need to start with my closet. I need to get rid of the clothes that I hope to fit into and fill it instead with clothes that make me feel good now. I realize that the clothes I have in their now are a constant reminder every time I open the closet door that I am a failure. And the “these clothes will have to do until I lose weight” clothes are dark in color and unshapely. I am going to plan a shopping day to pick out clothes that make me feel great now and they have to have color!
Wow this was tough. When looking at my romantic relationship, I realize I am the one who has not been showing up. My husband has been taking care of me and I have really have done nothing for him, nor has he asked me too. I have literally been a ghost in this marriage for the past 6 years. This is very hard for me to admit. I love my husband with all my heart, but when I sit and really think about it, I realize I need to be a more active participant in this marriage. So tonight we are going on a date. Dinner and a movie (our little town has a drive-inn). Going forward I will make more of an effort to show him how much I appreciate all that he does for me and our family.
As for the relationship with my body. Well, like many others I am sure, it is a love hate relationship. I had an “ah ha” moment last week. I was having a bad day. Felt horrible, looked in the mirror and started to cry. How did I get to this point. I was the heaviest I have ever been. I hated what I saw looking back at me. In that moment I realized something. This body has been through a lot over the past 26 years. She carried a child, she has had 2 surgeries and carried a lifetime of emotional baggage. I have been actively working on the emotional baggage for about 2 years now and have made incredible progress. I have nearly recovered from my 2nd surgery and have started going back to the gym, which is something that I really do miss and enjoy. Going forward I realize I need to stop being so hard on myself. I need to start loving me. When I look in the mirror I will appreciate all that my body has been through and cut her some slack. I will smile at myself every time I look in the mirror and remember how strong I am. I will start loving my outside. I will start wearing nicer clothes, no matter what my size is. I will make the effort to wear make-up more often. Start taking baths in the evening and moisturizing. I am going to learn to love my body again, one day at a time.
Romantic relationship: I’m a stay-at-home mom, and lately I’ve been feeling pretty convicted about how I greet my husband when he gets home from work. Not just how I act, but also how I present myself. Sometimes I’m in the middle of something when he gets home, and I actually forget to give him a hug or kiss (how sad!), so that’s something I want to change. I also want to look less frumpy when I welcome him home in the evenings. Usually my hair is a mess, and I’m wearing frumpy clothes. I’m not talking about getting my hair done every day or wearing an evening gown, but I do want to work on looking more presentable. I find that when I’m spruced up, I feel better about myself, and that allows me to be a better wife (and mom, and everything else).
Body: Get rid of the clothes I’ve been holding onto with the thought “I’ll wear this when I’m slimmer.” Every time I look at clothes like this, all it does is bring me down and make me hate my body in its current form. One of the ways I think I can change the way I think about my body is by dressing it up in cute clothes right now instead of waiting until I’m a different size.
As I have been working on myself very deeply for the past 10 months, I have already stopped waiting on opportunities or situations though I do get fearful that I am not good enough at what I do and so I can procrastinate at times.
I am single and need to stay this way a little longer till I heal from my last relationship … and address/work on some issues which I am. In regards to loving my body, that bit is incredibly hard. Just you mentioning how would we feel about someone sitting next to us day in and out criticizing our body .. how would we feel? OMG that hit me as I would never dream of talking to someone like that and basically, that is how I speak to my body .. no wonder my self confidence is a big fat zero. I am going .. I AM going to address each part of my body and learn to love each part. I am happy with the person that I am within and I need my outer body to reflect that. Thank you for the light bulb moment.x
You nailed it. That is exactly me. I need to heal from my last relationship before moving on to the next. And have been taking steps to better my health recently. I quit smoking and am walking everyday. They inner talk though really hit me. I appear confident but in reality i am always putting myself down. This will stop as i would never say what i think about myself to anyone. What a fabtastic video.
I will stop waiting on the weight by getting rid of the clothes I have from before I had children and allowing myself to wear cute things now instead of ‘placeholder’ clothes. I will not live a placeholder life any more! I will clean up my side of the street by talking more positively when I talk to my husband, rather than complaining. I will love my body by looking after my skin and getting the sleep that I need regularly, and keeping to my 10.30pm bedtime.
Love that! Placeholder clothes–I’m going to get rid of mine too!!!
I am going to finally go to the spa, I have been promising myself for ages to do this. Looking forward to relaxing and recharging. Relationship wise. I separated from my husband last November, due to a pattern of self loathing I had got myself into, we have remained friends and I feel that we are getting to a place where we might reconcile. I promise myself that I will look at me and what I can give to mending this instead of expecting him to do all the running. He has been a very supportive and understanding person and I appreciate that everyday.
Action on love – to think more about my role and pay more attention to ‘me’ and my role. Make more of an effort with how I dress when going out with partner.
Action on body – funny how disconnected I feel from my body (this vessel that I am going to spend my entire life in!!!). Make time for some nurturing, such as putting moisturiser on and getting some back massages.
In my relationship I’m going to try to dress up when I’m spending time with my boyfriend – and not just wear the same joggingsuit… I’m also going to suggest a date this saturday!
For my body I’m going to give myself a hug every morning and talking to her every evening before I go to bed. I have found that these to things actually helps a lot! Also I will write down some positive sentences on a note, that I can look at every day and at the times when it’s hard to find something positive to say.
My #1 Struggle with my body is not being able to get it to do what I want, or what I think it should do = how I think it should look. I’ve always had a hard time accepting my body for what it is and living with myself in the present. I love to exercise, and I love to eat too and I’d love to find a balance and acceptance with that.
Yesterday for fun,I took my toddler to the nursery and we wandered around for a while exploring and looking at plants and garden statues. Watching his face and hearing his squeals of joy and excited babble was wonderful.
Wow. Thanks so much for candidly and authentically sharing your journey, and offering hope to others❤️
And–as for fun, went for a horseback ride, bought a coloring book, made plans for an art project, started voice lessons. Only just watched the video, so mindful eating hasn’t been practiced (should have done that before the snack!). Looking forward to enjoying the changes along the way 🙂
I have had a difficult relationship with my body for about 9 years.
I have never hated my body and still don’t but things just aren’t right with us. I grew up active, fit and never having to worry about my weight. I rode horses until I was in my late twenties, loved tennis and soccer. I didn’t even weigh myself outside of Dr’s appointments until I turned 30.
I am 45. I gained a significant amount of weight in a very short period of time in 2008. I stopped all of my physical activities without intending to do so the time just wasn’t there any longer. Early in 2008 my husband became ill, my husband had a major car accident, we had a house flood followed by a house fire and during this time I also stepped up my career and was insanely busy at work and travelling. I basically curled into a ball of stress in front of the TV and used food to medicate myself into a carb coma when I could. I became depressed and anxious and began real medication to help with that which seemed to exacerbate the weight issue.
At 80 pounds overweight today I still feel like I see myself in my head as my vibrant healthy self of 34 years of age… UNTIL I go to i.e. try on a new pair of shoes…I can’t bend down that far. See myself in a photo, wait WHO is that?? Continually have to buy bigger pants because as each season passes yet another 5 pounds has crept on. Crap!
I realized this year I was no longer experiencing fun or joy and found myself avoiding public outings, parties, getaways because I did not feel comfortable in my skin. I felt like I was wearing a fat suit. I was buying clothes because they fit, not because I loved them.
Serendipity brought me to Sarah Jenk’s web site. I connected immediately with her Body Jail talk and I signed up for the self guided courses right after hearing it. It has been only a few weeks and it is literally changing my life. For real, changing my life. Theories I have heard before but not in this way. Her way of presenting the principles behind her program make me sit up and pay attention.
I will have difficult moments and challenges ahead but I am learning to have fun. I just told my friends today that I actually feel happy. I sat with myself and was like what is this feeling and it’s like damn it this is happiness, it’s been so long I forgot. It made me cry. I think it is because I am just saying eff it. This is me and my body now, dress her, love her, give her what she needs. Have fun.
I am having a life changing moment and I truly hope that these challenges awaken something in every one of you that inspires you to be your awesome self and get out there and live life!