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2,725 Comments
I am going to stop waiting on the weight by going ahead and doing the things I have dreamed about, even if they are scary and uncomfortable in my current body. I will learn to believe I am worth it.
As far as romance goes, I will become more aware of my body language and posture to be sure I confidently send the correct signals to men I am interested in. I’ve gotten feedback before that I show zero interest externally in men when I actually really like them. They just can’t tell so they never pursue anything.
I will also participate in life more, explore new hobbies and become more open to a relationship, even at the size I am (it scares me to think a man might love me how I am!).
To tend to my relationship with my body I am going to begin speaking more positively to her and about her. She has been through alot and has kept me alive and in relatively good health so I should be thanking her (the concept of referring to my body in the third person is new to me). My 10 year old son recently called himself fat and the truth is, he is VERY slender! That made me sad and ashamed because I know he has heard me berate my body a million times, like insulting yourself is the normal way to express your feelings! I must set a positive example for him now, while he’s young enough for good habits to be instilled easily!
I’m going to surprise him with a date night. And for my body, I’m going to make the time to take the daily walk I always say I’m going to take, because I sit at a computer all day for work and I need to move more. And I’m going to set my timer on my music program to stand up and move every 30 minutes. Thanks!
My current relationship with my body is frustrating. I was skinny all growing up through high school (I am now 38y/o)…I had a figure with bigger boobs…I was active in high school…but when I went to college–I didn’t know how to eat healthy or be active in a healthy way. I started gaining weight–probably 25 lbs (still in a healthy weight and not ‘skinny’ anymore which was fine) the 4 years I was there, And then a few more when I went to nursing school after.
I would try the fad diets-often encouraged by my mother who never made me feel good about the shell I was in. I remember when we were shopping for me a wedding night gown (lingerie) I complained about my stomach (mind you–this was about 40lbs ago and I was not overweight…) and that I wished I could lose a few more lbs before my wedding…and she agreed. What I wanted her to say and what she should have said ‘you look beautiful and your fiancé will think so too no matter what size you are’.
So my view of myself was shaped by her view–and she has never been happy with how she looked or still looks even now–and she’s not overweight either. I got married at age 25…and we loved and still love to go out to eat and make delicious things. I have had 2 babies, been married 13 years and want/need to lose about 30lbs to be at a healthy weight. I have done south beach, atkins, slim-fast, weight watchers, etc for the past 13 years…i keep waiting for the day that I am at my ideal body weight…and then I remember that time in the dressing room shopping for lingerie when I weighed 40lbs less than I do now–AND I STILL WASN’T HAPPY WITH HOW I LOOKED. So…it’s always been a struggle. This past year I have lost and gained 10lbs just counting calories and using my fitbit to be more active…but it waxes and wanes…I was disciplined and focused for about 4 months…then lost steam…gained it back…lost it again. I am trying to just ‘be ok’ with where I am at…but it’s hard now that it’s swimsuit/shorts season. But I am trying…still counting calories and being mindful of what I eat.
One thing fun I am doing today is that it’s date night! We got a sitter and are going to dinner and a movie, which often involves delicious food and movie snacks:/
This challenge arrived at the perfect time. I realized how much I blame my husband for things and take very little responsibility for my partner making our relationship work. I also see how it’s related to my vision of myself. Last night I took a lovely bath and just really focused on loving my body. And last night my husband and I were intimate for the first time in a long time. I know that is because of the challenge and I’m hoping to continue to love myself and my husband more. Today I will not apologize for my weight, I will Treat my body well and be happy with her.
1. I’m currently not in a relationship, but I will start getting out of the house more and be open to meeting new people. I will stop using my work schedule as an excuse to not get out and enjoy myself and others.
2. I will replace old, faded, misshapen clothes with ones that fit and look good on the body I have right now.
This is so hard to put into words. While I try not to hate myself, I find myself talking so negatively to myself when yet another day goes by that I don’t “diet” successfully, when that last bite of a binge is done and the raging guilt sets and in and I promise myself again, that “I’m DONE – tomorrow starts my diet” for the umpteenth time. I feel hopeless and disgusted with my lack of control when I know that what I put in my mouth for whatever reason, has caused my poor health. I’m undergoing heart bypass surgery in a few weeks and I know that the blockages were caused by my diet and lack of exercise and diabetes. I’m so ashamed – all the time! I feel like that’s the biggest stumbling block for me. The shame is all consuming and I feel worthless. So finding a way to deal with that will be a focus for this journey.
Today, I am going to dinner with friends and I’m going to eat what I love, and enjoy it!
Instead of pushing myself to gym and yoga (which I actually like) I decided to keep it calm and allow my feelings. there is so much sadness, fear and confusion. I take care of the most important things of my”to do-list” and before I will take a shower and nurture her with some “beauty”. I wrote another time to a guy whom I lik, asking for a date – don`t know if he`s interested but I will anyway take care of feeling good. It`s hard but I do my best not to eat while being distracted, standing in front of the fridge…
I`m also finding it hard to feel, what I wanna do for fun as thee is a consistant feeling of lacking another person, regret, putting myself down.
Love to all of you!
1. I am going to plan a date night for tomorrow night with my fiance instead of complaining that he never does it.
2. To build a relationship with my body I will stand in front of the mirror naked daily and call her beautiful and compliment one new thing each day.
1. I am going to be more present in my relationship with my husband by being on my phone less.
2. I am going to love my body more by moisturizing her everyday, and taking the time to paint my nails once a week! I always look at other women’s well manicured nails and always wish I had the time, so it’s time I make it a priority!
I have been single for about 10 years and have not dated at all. I sometimes do moisturize but not very often but that is definitely something that I can change and I will also attempt to dress more feminine to bring out my girly side. Maybe then I will feel more confident and venture out more and try to meet new people so that a relationship is possible. Thanks Sarah!
I am not in a relationship with another person at the moment and I am not dating… What I will do is to improve my relationship with myself, enjoy my relationships with friends and family and go out in the world consciously being open to dating and meeting new people.
What I plan to do to take action in building my relationship with my body is to write a new agreement with her. I recently did this with money and it was very cool to give it the respect that I would give another person who I choose to be in partnership with. I hadn’t thought of my body as an ‘other’ before. I like the idea of establishing a new agreement and creating a relationship built on honor, respect, love and fun.
This challenge is an emotional one for me because when I think about my body as being a person sitting next to me I have been so abusive to it. So mean and hateful. I cried telling my boyfriend the things I’ve said to my body. It started when I was 11 sitting in the tub fantasizing about cutting my belly off. I’ve hated my body for a long time and it has been so good to me! It’s flexible and voluptuous and grew my babies. My body is the only one out of the three girls that worked with me and pushed those babies out. My sisters had to have Caesarean sections. My goal is to start loving my body. I think that saying something nice about my body everyday suggested by a group member is an awesome idea.
My relationship goal is write down all the stuff I love about my boyfriend and to remind myself why I love him. He’s been amazing to talk to when I work on these challenges. He’s has a traumatic brain injury and migraines and many times all we talk about is how he is feeling. Every morning the the first thing I ask him is how he is feeling. I’m going to make an effort to not come home from work and ask him how he is feeling or when we first wake up. Our relationship doesn’t have to be all about his health. Maybe good morning I love you is a better way to wake up.
I am going to try to leave my work cares at work, not be on the phone and be more cheerful when I get home from work. I think this will create a better atmosphere for us to be in and make it easier for “life” to happen.
I have gotten out of the habit of wearing make up. I am going to start doing that again. I think there is a circular phenomenon at work. If you look better, you feel better; if you feel better, you look better. I want to feel and look better.
I don’t have a relationship right now…I’m just gonna work on loving myself and making me a better person! I am going to make a choice to believe that God is working on me…A work in progress!! Thanks Sarah!!
How do you fix a relationship that you have completely demolished and are not sure you want fixed?
Shelley — you need to look within yourself and be sure about whether you want to continue your relationship. I don’t know what’s going on with you and your significant other, but I know that you need to know that your relationship is worth working on before you focus your energy on fixing it. You are absolutely worth more than that!
1. I’m going to arrange suprise dates nights instead of waiting for him
2. I’m going to look after my skin better so it glows and looks good
To stop waiting on the weight, I’m going to step up my look. As a telecommuter for the past three moths I’ve loved wearing yoga pants and leggings but I miss my cute clothes! I’m going to step it up and get myself together everyday. this will also help me to build a relationship with my body, the one that I have not he one that exists in my imagination. 🙂
My husband and I actually talk about the same thing that was in the video. I get mad thinking about how I keep a beautiful, clean house for us and all he does is mess it up. But the mess doesn’t bother him. I should think about how to keep a comfortable relaxing home that we both enjoy.
I will start taking care of my feet again with lotion every night.
I will take the time to let my husband know how much I love him every day,verbally or with an embrace or even with a clean kitchen and a good dinner plan when he gets home from work. But mostly I have I’ll try the more fully commit myself to amproj ct we are both working on because if we succeed it could mean realizing our dream life.
I’m not sure there’s anything I’m waiting for the weight on, but I will keep a lookout for times when I might deny myself of doing an activity because I think I am “too fat”.
I am going to stop being the stressed and snappy wife when my husband gets home and welcome him instead with the wife I want to be and he deserves. I am also going to start moisturising my body every day to start learning to appreciate and like her.
Thank you for another inspiring video, Sarah! In honor of Day 5, I have set 5 goals that I think will help me to love myself more (some have been “borrowed” as I was inspired by you as well as other’s comments!): 1:Listen to my husband and SHARE in life’s little moments with him. I don’t want to keep brushing off what he has to say,but rather slow down and listen; appreciate the small moments of intimacy and love. 2: Be more present; cut back on electronic devices at home, be more “in the moment” with my husband, play more with my dogs, take them for walks. 3: Love myself more; take more baths, learn to meditate, appreciate ME! 4: Listen to MY body and MY needs; take care of my wants and desires, don’t feel “bad” about putting myself first sometimes, take the time for ME (and take the time to moisturize after that long, hot relaxing bath!). 5: Exercise more; not because I ‘HAVE’ to, but because I ‘WANT’ to. I love running, I love yoga; I need to take time for myself to do both of those things to help me love ME!
Many of these 5 goals overlap, I realize; but, I felt that pointing each one out separately will help me to understand that there are many facets to each action. Bonus item: I also have to cut myself slack when I’m not always 100%. Life is a learning and growing process and I want to enjoy it – the good and the bad, the successes and the failures, the ups and the downs. Thank you, Sarah, for helping us all see the worth in ourselves! <3
Since divorcing, I have been terrified to date partly because my body is not the same as it was 17 years ago when I was last single. I commit to being open to meeting someone, not waiting to lose the weight before I am “good enough” to date. I also commit to putting lotion on after my shower and dancing more often, even if it is in the house by myself. I love to dance and it doesn’t feel like exercise to me.
Stop waiting to be thinner! I’m going to pack away all the clothes I long to get back in to and buy some clothes I like that will fit me now. My side of the street,.. I need to make more of an effort with my hubby… He is my best friend but we don’t get much together time because I hate the way I look so I push him away ? I need to stop the negative self talk and be me. And learning to love my body… I am going to take half an hour before bed Time to pamper me… Creams, nails, bath, facial what ever I fancy today X
Thank you for that idea! It makes so much sense. I keep thinking that I’ll fit back into those jeans, but I need to let that go and get a pair that fit now! 🙂
Wow, this one really hit home for me. I didn’t realize how I was acting with my boyfriend sometimes, but I am expecting him to do things or getting upset and snapping because I asked him to do something and he didn’t do it right away when it doesn’t need to be done right away. I am going to start relaxing and reading more or just sit outside with my coffee in the morning, so I can be more fully in my relationship instead of nitpicking.
As far as my body goes, I am going to start wearing dresses that make me feel beautiful and sexy. Wear heels to work sometimes and more jewelry since it makes me feel more alive. Appreciating my body, especially my stomach and thighs for what they do everyday, they are wonderful not terrible. Thank you Sarah for starting off my day on a great note!
1. I’m going to dry brush and moisturize my body daily. I also want to do it to hydrating it b drinking more water.
2. I am going to show my husband affection on a more regular basis.
I’m blessed that my marriage is happy. I was thinking at first, that there wasn’t much I could do in that area… But I caught myself. There is ALWAYS room for improvement & growth. ?
My husband & I have been talking about giving each other massages for weeks now, but we’re so busy with our son’s baseball season & both of our jobs that we haven’t made it priority.
That ends now. My #1 priority tonight is to give him a massage & enjoy receiving one from him. We both deserve it!
The action I’ll take to strengthen my relationship with my own body: I’m going apply self tanning lotion. I love a soft glow, but my legs & stomach haven’t seen the sun in a very long time. I used to tan all the time, but now I know better & prefer to protect my skin. So self tanning lotion will be a pleasure.
1. Instead of coming home and either getting ready to go out or come home and worry about the house or projects, I’m going to come home and worry about me. Take up to 30 minutes and check in on me – what do I need right now from meditation to just sitting on the couch to a bath. Then be present to my partner and what we need – cuddle, watch a TV show, whatever.
2. This one is really hard as I am that voice that all day long complains about my body. I want to start by letting go of clothes that don’t fit and giving myself clothes that do. I already moisturize and get massages so next step is to not put my body in pain due to the clothes I wear that are too small (from a short time ago when I was smaller and was hoping to go back to being).
I’m actually very lucky to have my husband of 12 years. He’s so supportive and loving and we have a great relationship, but I do find I get exasperated by his one biggest flaw – he’s a procrastinator. I know that he is, but I find I get annoyed when something I asked him to do several days ago is still waiting. I think the best thing I can do is take charge of it. If he hasn’t done it, then I’ll do it myself – knowing him, the moment he sees me doing it, he’ll jump up to take care of it himself – he’s that kind of guy :).
My relationship with my body is improving. One thing I enjoy doing is dancing at my desk (I have an uplift desk, so I don’t have to sit all day). I turn the music on and just move and I don’t care how silly I look. I’ve noticed that my moves are becoming smoother and I have more energy lately because of it. I think that giving my body some tender loving care is that extra step I need. If that means applying moisturiser after a relaxing bath, then that’s a good enough start for me!
yikes! Totally me. I have booked 2 days of vacation and am going to go through my closet and drawers and stop holding on to the clothes that make me feel broken because they don’t fit. My husband said the other day that I should go buy some new clothes because all my stuff is old. In my mind I don’t deserve it because I have some nice clothes if I would just lose 50lbs. Well, after 15 years of saying that it’s time to say enough!
I also have 6 massages that are waiting to be used but I won’t make time for myself to do it. I will book at least the first 2 of those this coming week.
Thank you for another inspiring and “make you think video”. My husband always tells me how beautiful I am and never is down on me. I am so hard on myself since gaining weight. We both handle the house duties since my husband is on disability and I don’t work right now.
We stay in the house all the time and have become these TV people. I hate it! We are always talk about going somewhere and then don’t. I am always worried in public whether at the store or just driving that people are judging me by how I look.
Today I am going to combind the two challenges together:
make a plan to go out with my husband to do something that
1. Doesn’t cost much and
2. Puts me out in public to show I can enjoy life too.
I will keep you posted and photos to come later!
Good luck ladies..you can do it, too!
*I’ll* suggest date nights, rather than wait for him to.
I will join a gym and exercise more consistently.
It sounds silly, but one thing that keeps me consistently at the gym is audio books. It’s the only time I have to listen uninterrupted and I can’t wait to find out what happens next! 🙂