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2,725 Comments
WOW! Yes, I am a bossy wife. I admit it. LOL I come home from work with my “in charge” pants on and it’s no wonder my poor husband doesn’t take action on his own to help around the house. Agh. I will be working on being kinder, softer, gentler and way less bossy post-work. I’m also excited to finish up this comment so I can get on the phone and schedule a massage! My poor body works so hard and wants one so bad. I’m going to spoil her! 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration, Sarah. As always…great stuff!
I am a little ahead on stopping the wait. I ordered two new sets of underwear last night, as I realised the other day I had been waiting until I was slimmer to buy anything new.
I don’t think me and my husband have enough “us” time without the TV, or computer on etc, so I think we should make sure that we take our dog for a walk together. Fresh air, no distractions, and active!
To improve my relationship with my body, I am going to make better food choices. When I eat some foods, I get heartburn which obviously makes me feel rubbish. No diet, but listening to my body more. When I actually use my intuition as to what I want and need, I make much better decisions. I also don’t make time for any kind of pampering of me, so I don’t wear make up, never moisturise because I need the extra few minutes. I have so many moisturisers from birthday and Christmas presents, so I am going to start using them and making time to look after my body.
i appreciated the things you said about loving and taking care or your current body. I’ve heard this approach described as “act as if…until…” I’ve been incorporating this philosophy into my life in a number of ways for the past year. One specific thing is wearing sleeveless tops and tanks. I always said “when I lose 60 lbs, maybe I’ll feel comfortable showing my arms.” But I just took the plunge and it’s been so freeing. And you know what? No one that I’m aware of has recoiled in horror at the sight of my upper arms and I feel more comfortable, both physically in the heat of summer as well as emotionally. Another thing is getting out and doing various physical activities such as biking or swimming. Again, my brain used to say “when you lose weight, you can be comfortable doing these activities” but I’ve started doing them, and again, no one has recoiled in horror at the sight of a curvy woman on a bike or swimming laps, and these things are helping me be healthier in my body. Another thing I recently did was cut my hair short, a thing I always said I would like to do if I were skinny. I had lost about 40# already, but still have at least that much more that I’d like to lose. But cutting my hair has been such an empowering experience! It’s sassy and easy and all the things I wanted, plus I get so many compliments, even from strangers! I’m so glad I didn’t wait until I was skinny!
The romantic relationship one is a bit more esoteric for me. I’ve been single my whole life, now in my mid-40’s. I quit dating in my mid-20’s as something of protest against the way I would lose myself in relationships and set out to intentionally NOT date until I figured out who I was apart from a relationship. So I was intentionally single well into my 30 when I realized that while I wasn’t nacissarily any longer opposed to the concept of having a relationship, I had a full and busy life as a single person that didn’t really include space for a relationship. So here I am in my mid 40s, an entrenched single woman who hasn’t dated in 2 decades! I don’t feel incomplete, although I sometimes think it would be nice to have a built-in companion for dinner out or a concert, but I’ve always appreciated my freedom and independence. So I just shrug my shoulders at this part of the challenge and move on, I guess. I’ll be the one with short hair wearing a sleeveless top.
Waiting for me to be enough. I have a hard time spending money on myself. I am a single mom, raising 2 teens on my own. There is always someone or something else that will need it,which is really code for deserves it more. I don’t use it often, but I have the same swimsuit that I bought the summer my first baby was born. He’s going to college in the fall and is 18, so…. I do not remember when I last bought pajamas or a nightshirt. What I wear now is a threadbare hand me down from my best friend. What message am I sending my body? “It’s good enough for who it’s for.” I am more than enough, just as I am. LMWL
1.I will stop waiting on the weight by actually planning things that I want to do…for instance I am planning on taking some painting classes.
2. I will clean up my side of the street by greeting my spouse warmly when he gets home from work instead of giving him the honey do list and unloading on him.
3. I will nurture my body and show her love today by moisturizing, putting on some makeup to make her feel pretty..and I have been thinking about trying yoga as well.
My message takeaway is 1. showing up by getting out there, literally being out and about out there and 2. Asking my body what she needs, wants and how I can help her feel more comfortable, beautiful and extra-extra good.
Every thing you said in this video about thinking you will be happy once your in your ideal weight is so true. Your journey is a lot like mine. I will paint today, because I really have fun painting! Thank you for being so real!
Good Morning!!!
Awesome video, I love the idea of refering to my body as her and not it. I am single so I am learning to have a loving relationship with myself. I am learning to treat my self to a spa day or to a pamper me day and get my nails and toes to look pretty. I admit I am one to always wait until something happens. I am learning you have to step out in faith trusting God and make things happen. I have some goals and dreams that I will take a leap of faith and being working on TODAY NOT TOMORROW.
1.To start with I’m going to dress for the weather. If it’s hot out I will dress appropriately. I will not always be covered up in long pants and shirts. It has been years since I’ve worn a skirt or shorts and a tank top. Even in my own backyard or home.
2.my husband and I have seperated and i don’t think there’s any going back from that. We aren’t even living in the same city.
3. I will nurture my body and show her love by moisturizing on a daily basis, schedule yoga and actually show up!
It’s time to LOVE yourself! It’s your time to shine!
Day 5 Challenge made me smile…
1.I will stop ‘waiting on the weight’ by saying YES to things that make my heart sing.Like enrolling in the next Salsa Dance lesson instead of waiting until…I don’t really know what I’m waiting for lol. I will also start doing the things I see myself doing at my ideal weight like yoga in the morning and being active and moving my body everyday…what really have I been waiting for???
2. Nurturing my relationship. I will talk to my husband more and tell him what works for me rather than expecting him to guess. I will try harder to show love and affection each day rather than letting it fall by the wayside and I will appreciate and show that I appreciate the effort he makes.Mostly I am now focused on really feeling that I am enough..happy, loved, loving, creative, beautiful just as I am and regardless of what anyone else does or doesn’t do.
3. From today I will love and honour my body by dry brushing and moisturising each evening, committing to moving my body in a way that she enjoys esch day and taking the time to put make-up on (even when I can’t be bothered). If I’m tired I will let her rest and not push her past her limits and I commit to only speaking loving, tender words yo her from now on.
Ok. Here goes.
1.I am going to get a spa pedicure. 50 minutes of pure relaxation. After that I will keep up with moisturizing my feet (I hate feet, so this is big).
2.I am going to just make decisions. My husband is HORRIBLE at making decisions. I am not going to wait for him to decide. I’ll just choose what I want. I’m also going to be a better homemaker. I’m not great at keeping the house clean. That’s definitely something that I need to work on.
Eating at the table. This was actually a big thing my Nutritionist stressed last year so I’m practicing it constantly. Right now, to be honest it’s harder for me. I’m fasting and i get up at 3am to eat breakfast before the fast so I’m usually watching a little tv while I do that but I will try to get back to it in the evenings. When I do it though I definitely notice a different relationship with food – a very distinct acknowlegment that I’m eating and what I’m eating and the memory of it sticks with me longer so that I don’t forget that I already ate. It’s a very important tool in this journey I think. It helps to break the habit of “mindless eating” .
I am finding that I have become addicted to food, but mostly sugar,I have been gaining weight and that makes me feel sad. I have Lyme disease, Lupus, Celiac, Graves disease, Sjodrens syndrome to name a few. I would really like to get my act together and just feel some energy and enjoy life!
1. I’m going to plan a romantic anniversary weekend getaway for my husband and surprise him on Fathers Day.
2. I’m going to continue thanking each body part as I moisturizer her with coconut oil and essential oils after the shower.
Thank you, Sarah!
I am not waiting. I am not practicing any more patience. I know that I need to step-up-to-the-plate more with my husband. I can start by initiating more. It’s always been an issue for me. But I am going to try, experiment and see what happens when I do. We just celebrated our 29th year together. He’s the best husband!
As far as my body. The inner dialog needs to get cleaned up. I really need to cut myself some slack. Honestly, I don’t mind so much what I see in the mirror, it’s more what is visible in photos that gets me down. I don’t recognize “her”. She’s fat. Unattractive. And gross. These words need to stop! Yes, it’s much easier to avoid the photographs these days, but in doing so what else am I avoiding? I am going to work on more loving conversations with myself. Starting today.
Thank You Sarah xo
I could really relate to what you share, Wendy.
How am I going to have fun? My newest love is taking long walks and listening to podcasts that mostly center around personal development. I am a personal development junkie – always seeking out ways to improve. But this is new for me this walking and very indicative of my new goals to move more but not for a “workout” but just to incorporate more movement in my everyday life.
Most Fridays I have lunch with my husband, sometimes I allow other things to interfere and cancel, it is pretty much only time we’re alone without the kids and nothing should be more important than that, I will show up more by making it a priority every Friday. As for my body, gosh! I am overwhelmed with feelings, but I should feel nothing more than love for her because she created 3 human beings that are my world, and no one else could give me what my body gave me.
Thanks Sarah, you really hit the nail on the head with the relationship bit…it’s not all “him.” I’m going to ask my guy out for a date, tonight! I’m not sure what we’re going to do, cuz money is tight, but maybe just a walk on the beach. As for my body, I’m going to listen more and move her more. I’ve been very remiss lately (the last 2 years) in moving as much as I should.
Okay, I’m trying to post this again! I blog about my story so much I don’t want to go into the full story b/c it would take too long but I do so want to share. SO my semi-shorter story goes like this: I have struggled with my weight and trying to get to my “ideal number” since I was 14. I am now 35. In 2010 I lost 30 lbs for the second time in my life (1st time was 2002) but this time I not only was eating an unhealthily low amount of calories I was exercising like a maniac and I mean a maniac. At the end of 2014 after finally gaining back all the weight I lose in 2010 (2nd time!) I finally said enough is enough and I finally admitted to myself, FOR REAL, that this may not be about food and exercise at all. I had created a life that was unsustainable and torturous to my soul and wasn’t making me happy. At that time I decided to get a Nutritionist who specialized in portion control and I soon realized she also specialized in helping me figure out “what I”m really hungry for”. Simultaneously I read the book that changed my weight loss journey forever. Marianne Williams, “A Course in Weight Loss” unbelievable read – I highly recommend it. And so all of last year was about rediscovering who I am when I’m not obsessed with my weight and really getting honest with when this overeating all started and how it has manifested itself into this huge issue in my life. I did a lot of soul searching and a LOT of journaling. And I cried a lot. But I”m smiling now. I’m not at my “ideal weight” but it’s about so much more than that. I think that I still have a ways to go but I definitely believe that I”m on the uphill side of this battle finally. I believe this challenge is another gift from God and his way of telling me that I”m on the right path. Thank you for listening.
Ido think I am going to be able to do so many things once I loose weight and get in shape! So I need to sit down and write down all the things I want to do but have been putting off! Maybe at least do one!
I can so relate to the story of coming home and being stern,strong and bossy to my husband! I need to focus on changing that!
I am going to start relaxing, taking baths, moisturizing and dressing better to show my body I love her!
!. I used to moisturize everyday and take a few hours once a week to do pedicures etc. I don’t really remember when I stopped, but now I feel like it’s not worth doing all that stuff until I get into the shape I want. Today, I an going to buy a scented moisturizer and start daily moisturizing again, make up, and once a week to do all the other little thing of personal grooming that I stopped.
2. I work in retail and it’s a very physical job, and am on my feet all day so I’m usually really tired when I get home. I know that I need to spend more time on my intimate relationship – He is always the one to initiate intimacy. I think I don’t because I feel undesirable, even though I do hug and kiss him regularly. It sometimes feels somewhat perfunctory and today, I am going to come home, make a nice dinner with a glass of wine, and surprise him at bed time! lol 🙂
This video came at the right time for me.. My marriage is struggling due to me being so unhappy with myself.. I feel like I am so undeseriable to him..today I am going to start pay attenti9n to my body.. She needs to be loved. Today I will take the time to moisturize her.. Today I will focus on communicating with my husband..
Another fabulous video, thanks Sarah! Referring to our bodies as ‘her’ instead of ‘it’ has already started to shift how I see and feel about my body.
I’m going to pay attention today to what my body wants and needs … More water? Some fruit instead of a candy bar? Some all natural moisturizer? Deep stretches? I am going to listen and try to meet her needs instead of trying to tell her what to do or how to be.
(…what’s that, body? You want a massage this weekend? On it. 😉
My action step for me and my body is to not be so worried about what other people may (or may not) be thinking about how I look in my clothes. I know I’m my worst critic and I’m pretty sure no one worries even a tiny percent about how my shirt or pants are fitting! Get out of your head, Sarah!
And to make me more accountable in my relationship I will make a date night at least once a month so we don’t feel so much like roommates (18 years together). Bring the romance back in! 🙂
Thank you Sarah ?
I am going to listen when my body tells me what she wants me to eat, not what my mind is saying. I am also going to nuture her again through yoga.
I am going to practise patience to stop and listen to my husband AND respond positively with love.
Great video…again!
My action steps:
1) Eat fruits & vegetables and go for walks – that’s how I would treat my body if it was thin.
2) Wear clothes that make my body feel comfortable, not restrained.
3) Focus on household duties (now that school is out), but help my husband on the outside projects also.
4) Make a weekly plan for family meals, so that it won’t be such torture for me to cook and will make my husband happy.
I am going to start showing love and respect to my body instead of hiding from and ignoring her. To start I will pamper her with a massage.In my relationship I will work towards freeing myself up from being so controlling. I just realized I may be doing this because I can’t control my eating.
I am going to sort out my wardrobe and only keep clothes I feel a million dollsrs in, I will give myself a manicure and pedicure every week. I will start saying yes and joining in when people ask if I want to join them in activities.
Hi Sarah!! Thank you so much for this opportunity! God has been leading me in the same way as your method…But God knows I need more help…I struggle with loving myself, my body, and just having fun now! Today, I will watch a fun and interesting movie or show, to me…Without eating anything! And, I will let you know how it is to eat with no distractions!! Thanks again, Sarah!!
This is by Joy Villegas!
Sharon, I really like your idea of a
Sorry, pressed submit too soon…lol. I really like your idea of sorting through clothing and only wearing that in which I feel like a “million dollars”!!
By Joy Villegas!
Today my husband invited me to a date and I am going to go without worrying about what I am going to eat and without thinking on how tired I am.I will enjoy the date and show open to have tons of fun with him.
I will finally go to get my pedicure today without excuses ( I am way overdue) and will have my eyebrows done, I will show my body how sorry I am for not loving her the way she deserves to be loved! Thank you Sarah!
My biggest issue is not wanting to look at my body in the mirror at any time as I do not like what I see. My fun thing to do is to hold for a walk along my favourite beach.
Ann, I also love walking on a beach…I have to wait till there’s one to walk on, lol!
By Joy Villegas!
Hi,
I wrote once a letter to my body?. I think , I have to do that again for making peace .
I have too much yan energy (masculine) in me .
I think I should awaken the women in me and to allow myself to be a
woman , because I am still Single.
In my point of view, men are frightened in front of me…
I would like to meet someone as I’m single but so afraid to put myself out there because of the way I think I look. So I’m going to make sure I moisturise every day with a great smelling body oil and a book a massage for next week.I’m going to sign up for Internet dating which I’ve never done. I’m going to talk to my body with love every day.
Joy, I like your name, I am divorced, and therefore single…I feel the same way…I Love your ideas! Thank you…