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2,725 Comments
Biggest struggle with my body? I have a hate-hate relationship w/it & I don’t know how to change it. Here’s a list of all contributing factors: (1) Was physically & emotionally abused as a kid. Neglected. I was very good @ making PB&Js for me & my 2 brothers. Hard to feel loved & nurtured when one parent is abusing you & the other’s pretending it’s not happening. (2) My mother talked a LOT about how she was still 105 lbs, which is what she weighed in HS. She was always commeting on my body — when I was an athlete, I was too skinny. When I put on weight, I was too fat. Didn’t exactly help me feel confident about my body… (3) I was a top-ranked soccer player, played on all sorts of premier/elite teams. From age 5-22, I was lithe, strong, fast & thin. Recruited by many colleges, played on a Div 1 college team. Accolades & admiration for athleticism – what my body could do, not for who I was. (3) Married a man who turned out to be emotionally abusive (after 7 yrs, divorced Mr. Asshole, taking our 2 yr old w/me!), which triggered the shit out of my PTSD (which was diagnosed & treated y-e-a-r-s later). Looking back, I can see that I used carbs to come down off those jittery fight-or-flight highs. (4) Put on more weight when I had Lyme Disease for 3 yrs. (5) Put on even more weight when my son went to college 2 yrs ago. So now I’m 125 lbs. overweight (and I’m not talking about getting back to my college weight, either!). Can’t stand to look @ my body in a mirror. Feel nothing but shame about “letting myself” put on all this weight. It’s very painful.
What am I going to do for fun today? Take our dog for a walk. Getting out in the fresh air will do us both a world of good!
Here’s the thing — I do have a very fulfilling life. I have a close, loving relationship w/my 20 yr old son, who’s launched successfully & is a very nice young man (and yes, I’m biased! 😉 I have close friends with whom I socialize regularly. I am always going places & doing things, trying new things. I just took a trip to Bali. Am going to Peru this summer. I run my own biz, do work that I LOVE. Am in the process of writing my 1st book. I am def missing a partner & sometimes feel lonely, but I can’t figure out why I’m hanging on to this weight, where the resistance is coming from. Whatever it is, it’s pretty deep, bcs I’ve done a ton of work, healing my wounds & overcoming the legacy of my childhood. Hopefully you can help me figure out what it is!
The only time I’ve ever been happy with my body was when I was pregnant with my daughter (she is now 9 yrs old). I have always felt if I lost weight everything in my life would be better. I want to stop obcessing over the number on the scale and just be happy. I recently ended a long term relationship and have decided to focus on my self and being happy to set a good example for my daughter. Today on my lunch break I went for a 45 minute walk with a coworker I haven’t seen in awhile, to catch up. It was great to unplug and walk, talk and laugh. As a single mom, who works full time, I am often multitasking trying to get everything done in the short amount of “free” time I have. I am looking forward to this program and finally putting myself first.
My problem with my body is my self hatred of how I look.. I’ve always struggled with my weight and have tried every diet known to man but have steadily put more and more on over the years..I always felt the odd one out in a group, and felt people judged me on my looks.. my self confidence was very low as well. I hate my stomach which hangs down and now as I get older the flabby loose skin which was never too much a problem when I was fit enough to exercise.. most of all I detest how I can cook and enjoy healthy meals but always sabotage myself by binging on junk and how I have weight related health complaints now.. why did I do it to myself? ? For fun today I played with my young nutty labrador in the garden but would like to find the time to start swimming again
I have struggled with my weight since turning 45 several years ago. I am now 30 pounds heavier than what is normal for me. This is partly due to age, but more so due to stress and unhappiness. I believe more focus on fun and self care will result in a happier life for myself and my family. The trick is to make it a habit and a natural part of my life. For fun today, I am going to play the piano. I took lessons as a child and am trying to ‘re-learn’.
I’ve hated the way I look and my weight since the day I developed a body. I’ve struggled with yo-yo dieting, excessive exercising, bulimia, and I’m tired of it. I’m just tired of worrying about my weight and how I look instead of living my life.
Much like Sarah, my body image issues started in childhood and I’ve carried them with me ever since. I thought I finally had it in check a few years ago, but a stressful move and midlife added 20 pounds that have stuck around despite my best efforts. I’m turning 40 next month and would love to not only finally be comfortable in my body, but to be able to walk into a room and not immediately compare myself to every woman there. And, I want to be able to model that for my young daughter. It’s late here on the East Coast so for “fun” I’m going to allot time to read a non-work book before bed tonight.
Hi Sarah! I’ve been on a journey with my body the last 2-3 years. I’ve been rediscovering what makes me feel healthy and strong while, at the same time, moving all the way across the country for a new job to a new place where I knew no one. One of my life goals is to be strong, healthy, and happy all my life. The key part of that equation I’ve been missing the last two years has been “Happy”. I’ve been putting off “happy” thinking, “I’ll be happy when I can go on adventures with a significant other; single people can’t go hiking, go to a concert, go to the theater alone — it’s just not fun”. I was inspired by the part of your program entitled “LIVE MORE” — I’d always like to weigh less, but it doesn’t (pardon the pun) weigh heavily on my mind.
Growing up I was always enrolled in ballet so being active was second nature and I was a twig all through elementary, junior, and high school. In college, I didn’t gain the freshman 15 (although I certainly gave it a good try), but by the time I hit my first years out of college I hadn’t really learned much about how to take care of my body without the regimen of PE classes or ballet. Now, I’ve finally found a weight lifting, cardio, and yoga regimen I love that makes me feel strong and healthy.
I’m hoping that focusing on what makes ME happy –not other people and not what I ought or ought not to do — I can finally start being the person I want to be without needing a significant other to do it with me. I’ve always said I don’t need a partner to be happy — now I want to live that statement.
For fun today, I’m going to color in my new coloring book!
Sarah,
There are so many people here that are trying to be heard and I’m afraid I will be one more cry in the crowd, but I’m going to go for it anyway, even though I’m a closed person and don’t ever share on social media- this will be all new for me! The relationship I have with my body is that of an alien- there are some clues it exists but overall it is undiscovered. I’ve always been the “bigger girl” but I wasn’t fat! I was a full figured woman-breasts and all- at 12, and sure I got attention from boys but the attention from the girls was horrendous, I always felt like an outsider-the alien in the group. Then as I got older I developed a deep and troubled since of what love was with people and myself. I thought I was doing myself a favor, a kindness if you will, by being bulimic and beating myself up everyday, the mirror was the enemy I couldn’t stay away from.
Jumping ahead in my life, being healed from my disorder didn’t mean I was healed on the inside. There was a disconnect that I still struggle with today. I married my best friend and had a beautiful, precious baby boy. But I gained a lot of weight from letting myself eat without purging and in college because I was unhappy, then more weight after my baby. Now my body is once again a foreign thing-my body is the alien I’ve alienated from myself! I hide on the inside but you’ve heard the saying you take yourself where ever you go? Well it’s true, and I want to lose weight for my health and so I can play with my son and not feel ashamed in my husband’s arms. I want to connect again to myself and stop thinking I will live my life once the weight is off. I only have a hate relationship with my body, and even though I am a healthy eater, I don’t feed my soul healthiness. The fish rots from the head. I need to feel loved for myself on the inside, the rest will follow suit.
For fun today, I’m going to plan a surprise date night for my husband! And flirt with him once he gets home! (:
Thank you for this opportunity! I’m excited, thanks for existing Sarah. (:
What will I do when I lose weight – Go swimming, play with my kids. YES, I will start doing that today.
Tasting to see if I like the foods: I will definitely start focusing to see if I like it. And I will focus on no distractions.
Hello Sarah! Thanks for sharing your story. Very beautiful and moving.
My current relationship with my body is not good. I injured my back almost 3 years ago and had emergency surgery so I would beable to walk again.I’m so grateful that Im walking but It has never really healed.I live in constant chronic pain now. So I push myself to do as much as I can, but struggle with even simple things.
A medication that I took, a side effect was weight gain and I gained 30 lbs.in 3 months. So now I hurt and I’m fat. People say oh if you would lose weight you would feel better. I’m so sick of feeling bad about my body. I’m single, no boyfriend and now I can’t imagine someone wanting to see me naked.Wow that’s enough for today.
Today I’m going to the bead store for fun! I will tell you how that goes when I get home..
Sending hugs
Thanks for all you do!
Love Teresa.
My body issue has mainly been the fact of fluctuating weight. I also hate the feeling of being unfit. I’m not looking for the body I had in my 20s I just want a body that I can feel comfortable in.
My fun thing will be to walk my dog around the fishing lake.
Eating mindfully I think will be difficult but I’m gonna do it.
Take care all and good luck on our journey.
For so many years, I would try a new diet. I did weight watchers, I tried the flat belly diet, and many others. I am doing much better now as I am no longer on a diet and just trying to eat mostly healthy but also just what my body wants to eat. Sometimes I do eat on the go but I try to eat mindfully as much as possible. I still struggle sometimes in social situations, feeling pressured, however I am working on this. Tonight, I am taking a tango class with my boyfriend and really looking forward to it!
I’ve struggled all my life with low self-esteem, always thinking if I was thin my life would be amazing. I’ve lost weight, I’ve gained it back and repeated this process many many times. I am, with your help, learning to love myself, just as I am.
For fun I’m going to play some funky music and dance round my house!
I’ll check in after a few days of eating without distractions!
So glad I signed up for this, it’s already helping! X
I’ve never had a good relationship with my body. When I was a little girl – maybe about 7 or 8 years old – an adult told me that I’d be so pretty if I weren’t so fat. At 46 years old, my self-image is still tied to my weight, size and cellulite. I’ve lost and gained weight several times over the years. I’m currently battling to get below 200 pounds.
Over the past 2 years I gained weight rapidly and kept gaining even though I was eating relatively clean and exercising sometimes. Then I got too tired to exercise. In December I learnt I had massive fibroids. One hysterectomy later and I feel much better. I’m exercising again and eating healthy. Now it’s time to love me for me, get healthy and yes – lose some weight.
This evening when I get back home from church, I plan to spend some time alone reading a good book on my kindle. I haven’t done that in SOOOO long – it feels positively self-indulgent just thinking about it!
I’m really happy for this challenge and I’m looking forward to Red Lipstick day! 🙂
I have a love hate relationship with my body, i’ve always been a big girl but the past couple of years i have really put on the weight. Still recovering from major back surgery and have Multiple Sclorosis, i know if i just lose weight my body will not hurt as bad. Not sure about what to do for fun, kind of limited with the West Texas heat, but may have a little retail therapy tomorrow or Thursday if my schedule permits!
It’s difficult to describe my relationship with my body as when I have to people in the past most have laughed and judged me without understanding which hurt deep. I have struggled with my weight over the past 17 years, mainly due to my medical condition. I would binge eat when I was feeling fed up, lonely, frustrated, any excuse I could make really because my life as I knew it was disappearing from me. 2013 I had life coaching and from this, holding myself accountable and beginning a journey through deep meditation where I now communicate with my condition and the rest of my body I have learnt to find a balance (this is where I get laughed at when trying to explain). It’s only been recently that my body has been well enough to start on a new journey with my weight and my emotions but I have been struggling to find focus and strength to endure this because I felt very much alone, so this group has come at the right time for me and the encouragement support and love is amazing. I have finally made that start now xxx. For fun I’m going to go for an adventure walk with my daughter once I’m home from work. She brings out the best in me xxxx
Your Video resonates with me in so many levels. The struggle with food and with the acceptance of my own body was very real. I can honestly say that it took me the same realization that you had a couple of years ago. I was sick and tired of the “restrictions” that I put on myself not to mention the fact tha I was just pretty miserable person period. I just wanted to have FUN and why not??? How I began my journey, first i began by changing my perspective. Shifting how I viewed working out made a huge difference. I no longer saw it as a chore I saw it as a privilege. One that I got to choose which made it more exciting. Then I started the self loving journey which was much harder. I literally took a long hard look in the mirror. The way I saw it was that the women I was staring at was going to be by my side for a long time (God willing). So the way I treated her was going to determine how she was going to treat me back. I decided to start speaking to her more kindly and focused more on the things I loved about her. After that I did something that might be viewed by some unconventional but I was curious none the less. I started asking some of my guy friends married and unmarried some tough questions. I asked them about cellulite, boobs, back fat, and belly pooch just to name a few. They all said the same thing, they could care less. Well if they could care less why have I been spending so much of my time worrying about it. Now do not get me wrong I have good days and bad days just like the rest but to be perfectly honest I love my body now and I learned to respect it through good and bad times. Thanks Sara for your wonderful words of wisdom.
My number 1 struggle is that I look like I’m pregnant and I’m not.
others ask or treat me (offer their seat on public transportation) as though I am, which is simultaneously heartwarming and aggravating. Also, it’s taking longer than I anticipated to get pregnant again.
My fun thing was a 10-minute morning walk through Prospect Park holding my 3 year-old’s hand, looking at dragon statues spout water, smelling the grass, and being an audience for his terrible jokes.
My no 1 struggle with my body is yo-yo emotional eating & drinking, hate my stomach, lol. So today I went to the beach with a close friend & Toby my dog (in day 1 pic)clambering rocks & pools .. checking out the views … loved it. Don’t usually take time out on a week day, too exhausted after work but can definitely going to aim for a fun thing every day, health permitting – have blood disorder since age 25 & struggle with anxiety! Thank you Sarah & to all for sharing, caring & inspiration !
I found myself relating a lot to your video – I too was heavy from an early age (my mum had to have my school uniform made especially for me as I couldn’t fit into off the peg). I have slimmed several times in my life – at my lowest 150lbs but currently 230lbs. I think I have always used food as a crutch for difficult feelings and found that I continued to gain weight at an astonishing rate whilst my mum was being treated for cancer (she died a year ago)? and I did think my weight would come down as I was no longer spending all my free time in hospitals with vending machines everywhere, but in truth it remained the same until about 4 weeks ago when I joined a slimming world group. Although I’m enjoying the healthy food on the plan, I do think I need to tackle being able to deal with emotions rather than stuffing them down with food, and hope this will help me to do it ? (after leaving it somewhat late to watch the video – I think half an hour reading in bed will have to be my fun thing for today, but think I’m going to try a new exercise class tomorrow )
Since I was a very young child I have struggled with my weight. This constant battle affected my self-esteem and sense of value. I feel that my lack of self-confidence regarding my weight has impacted every aspect of my life.
Today for fun I am going to spend time enjoying reading.
For the last 15-20 years I was 20-30 lbs overweight most o the time. Just recently I lost 20 lbs through diet and related stress of my husband’s death. I feel pretty good actually and have gone down a size or two in clothes. It all might be age related too, I’m 67. I am guilty of distracted eating and will work on this. I started Gentle Yoga videos today and signed up for Soul Camp. It’s 104 degrees right now so I think I’ll put on my suit (yikes) and go swimming. Haven’t been in a pool in a few years but I love the feel of the water. That will be fun
My number one struggle is not eating regular meals which has caused me to gain weight. There are days when I only eat once, and I don’t even enjoy the food. For fun today I am going to write a poem. I loved that when I was younger and never take thE time anymore.
Iv’e had a terrible relationship with my body since I was in my early teens, losing and gaining big amounts of weight in a never ending yoyo. I found what worked for me 5 years ago and got down to my goal and felt fabulous. My mission was to look and feel good every day. I know about food and nutrition, I specialise in it for my work but last year I spent a lot of time in hospital looking after my sick son and I disappeared and didn’t look after myself. Over 20kg rapidly went onto my body. Fun hasn’t been in my life for a very long time. This year feels like its getting back to normal but that has meant work, work and more work trying to get back into life. Watching your video Sarah just bought home to me there is more to life and I need to find me again and look after and nurture my body. First step starts today going out to buy my flowers and red lipstick and down to the beach to collect some seaweed for a relaxing detoxifying bath this evening.
I feel like a weight yo-yo; always,always up and down, so like many people, my biggest struggle with my body is my weight. I don’t like the way I look in my clothes, therefore, I don’t like my clothes. I hate shopping for clothes. I’ll find something I think is cute, then I try it on and, UGH!!
Then I think,why try to look good, so I seldom wear make-up or or do my hair. I am constantly comparing myself to others and wondering what their secret is.
I never thought about things the other way around; if I feel good about myself and my body I will have a good body. I guess I’m struggling with that concept, too, but I want to give it a try, because it make so much sense.
I can’t think of what I want to do for fun, today, but I will think of something and let you know. I do know one thing, I’m going home and clearing off my cluttered kitchen table. Is that fun?
I have always had a bad relationship with my body!! Like you I 1st went to weight watchers aged 10!! I have been in a career that I disliked for 11 years! & on a whim made a change at the beginning of this year!! I can already see how much happier I am. Looking forward to incorporating fun & happiness into other areas of my life!!
The fun thing I’m going to do is curl up in bed with a girly book!! I love doing this, but I never seem to have time for it! Even though it is late here in England UK, and I’ve got work in the morning, I’m gonna do it for half an hour. Because I want to! Because it will make me happy!!
PS for fun today I’m going to be heading out golfing with some girlfriends. Enjoying this beautiful weather we are having.
My #1 struggle has always been to fit in the clothes that I want to wear.
Today for fun, I will be taking a bike ride with my husband after dinner.
My journey with my body has been long and arduous. I grew up hating my body, always wanting to change it, to have it be different, to have it be more like the bodies that people praised and found attractive. As a result, I found myself graduating from high school very overweight and unhappy with myself. Over the years, I have learned to love my body for what it can do, have fed it healthy movement and mostly healthy food, and I have learned to accept that my body has its own seasons. In so doing, my body has changed and is happier and healthier. That’s what I choose to focus on, and to celebrate. No body is perfect. But every body is worthy of love and acceptance. I may still struggle with that at times, but I also know that there are people who are envious of my body and how it looks and what it can do.
Today, for fun, I will spend some time with my cats, who are feeling a bit neglected given my busy schedule, and I will take a bath and read a book when I get home tonight, unwinding after a long, hard day.
I think back 10 years ago to when I was 40lbs lighter and now, if only I could get back there I’d be so much happier. But then I really remember how insecure I was and how I wasn’t any happier, I was just skinnier. I really want to have a better relationship with my body so that I can appreciate the road it takes me on rather than controlling my emotions.